I have been doing a lot of reflecting on my past four years as I have 10 weeks left of my college career. Freshman year hated college and couldn’t wait to graduate, but now I am so upset by it. The last 4 years have not been the best of my life. First, I think that is sad to say, you have like at least 60+ years after college to live and second, college was not always easy for me, especially freshman year. It seemed at the end of each fall semester, I went through a huge problem, I hate school, sophomore year I was so homesick I was getting sick and junior year my grandmother was dying. Senior year I haven’t done much because of COVID, but I ended up going home the second week in November last semester to protect my family because I was so scared.
Freshman year to now, I am not the same person. I have grown so much over these last four years that I don’t recognize that shy scared girl 4 years ago. I am confident, outgoing and involved and have surrounded myself with amazing people and friends. I owe my transformation to two amazing friends in my life and would not still be at this school without them. But I didn’t have that freshman year. But I put myself out there, got involved in everything I could where sophomore and junior year I was insanely busy, but I loved it. I thrived on it. Somehow my grades were better the more I was doing than freshman year when I did nothing but stay in my dorm room. Even my confidence in becoming a teacher skyrocketed over the past two years.
I don’t know who that girl from freshman year is in anymore, because she is not me. But I would love to tell her it is going to be okay. Everything will work out, but you have to try and make it work out. I wasn’t not involved my freshman year. I just stuck with my roommate who ended up moving out the third week of school. And it sounds so simple but once I joined things, I changed and started liking college. I needed that support and plan and something to look forward to. Now I look forward to when I have nothing to do because my schedule is always packed.
To my past self, you got this and to my future self you also got this. I know graduation is scary, but college changed you for the better. Freshman year to now was a whirlwind. I met so many amazing people and did so many things (before COVID who is stealing my senior year), but I am happy with the person I am today.