Trigger warning: toxic relationships and grooming.
Whenever someone asks what my favorite band is, no matter what music genre phase I am in doesn’t matter. To me, it will always be The Beatles regardless of if the last time I heard one of their songs. I know this is going to sound absolutely wild that a band from the 1960s could hold such a powerful influence over someone in 2012-now, but The Beatles will always hold a special place in my heart. I mean, mostly every one of my usernames is BeatlesSky whether it’s my social accounts, Gmail, Discords, Zoom, etc. That much has not changed since the first time I introduced that username to the world (and it’s helped keep my profile semi-private from people I used to know).
In 2013, I was going through a rough time in my life. I’ll spare you the gritty details but I will let you know that it is something in my life that I am constantly working on trying to look past it. This is the year when I was diagnosed with clinical depression at 14 years old and began to regress into my anxiety. Consequently, this was the same year that my destructive personality allowed me to welcome The Beatles fully into my life to compensate for my social lacking. When I didn’t have friends, I turned to music to fill that void.
The Beatles, to me, are more than just a band. I know that Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr are going on about their lives without knowing me, but they do not know how much their music has saved my life. If I did not have their ten years of music to help me when I needed it, I am not sure if I would be typing this essay right now.
I’ll admit, The Beatles have also given me trouble. It was the access point that allowed myself to be groomed at 14 by a 20-year-old. We both connected through liking The Beatles and slowly transformed that amiable conversation in a toxic relationship that left me completely broken. For a time, I couldn’t listen to the music I loved because it kept bringing me back to those two years I had filled with anxiety, gaslighting, and trauma. It took me longer than I hoped to reclaim my music again without feeling the same pinch of pain in my chest.
The Beatles tossed me into college and helped me form connections with people, even if it were for just one day. I was able to escape into their music when I felt a panic attack coming, their albums played during late nights at the library, and their voices flowed through my mind whenever I felt lonely. At this point, I could almost sing every single lyric of their songs without missing a word.
My boyfriend and I now shuffle through their music and connect with different bands that influenced us, too. I can’t say that The Beatles helped with everything, of course there are other bands and music, my friends (when I had them), and that weird point in my life where YouTubers were my only friends. The songs of The Beatles will always be with me even When I’m 64.