Growing up, most people I know started their first real relationship in either middle school or high school. For me, I didn’t get my first boyfriend until I was 18. Luckily, my first boyfriend is still my current boyfriend; however, we started dating right before we graduated high school, and were then faced with the lurking issue of going away to college. For many couples, the daunting idea of being separated by such a distance can seem challenging and hard to maintain a relationship. However, it doesn’t have to be as scary and difficult as it many originally seem.
I’d like to say I got lucky in the sense that my boyfriend and I both go to school in the small state of New Jersey, with only about a one-hour drive between us. However, it is difficult to go from seeing each other every day because you live ten minutes away in your hometown, to only getting to see each other every weekend if you’re lucky. Many people tend to become extremely self-conscious and insecure, feeling as though their partner is out having a good time without them and potentially meeting better people. This was my problem. During my first semester of college, I was constantly worried that my boyfriend was not only going to forget about me, but that he was also going to meet a cooler and smarter girl.
One thing I believe that is helpful in order to maintain a relationship in college is to make time for each other. College is intimidating in that it takes up so much of your time. One minute you’re in class, the next you’re studying for a quiz, and the next you’re taking an exam. It’s easy to lose track of time and forget the little things, such as talking to your partner. My recommendation is to make time each day, even if it’s just for a small amount of time, to talk to your partner. This could be time to text, call them, or even facetime them, especially if you’re long distance. This really helps to keep the communication up and allows you to hear how they’re doing and to tell them how much you care.
The main thing to remember to make your relationship work while in college is to trust your partner! You both started dating each other for a reason, whether that be their hilarious sense of humor, their wonderful sense of kindness, or whatever else it may be. For me, it was how trustworthy and loyal my boyfriend was. He had never given me a reason in the past to not trust him in the past, so why should college change anything? Him and I were both in the same situation in that we were both thrown into a new and uncomfortable situation that was freshman year of college. We both had to remember that we would be there for each other, and that we were still the same people we were when we first started dating before college.
Overall, relationships can definitely be strained due to college. It isn’t an easy time for anyone really. However, that doesn’t mean that your relationship should have to end because of college. It is definitely possible to make it work, so long as both parties are equally as invested and willing to make it work!