As a child and as a young adult I have always been an avid reader. I found comfort, safety, and consistency in books. Though there have been many books that have taken me by surprise due to their plot twists, I still felt like I could count on some books to follow a typical pattern or formula that provided my life with some consistency that it otherwise lacked in the real world. Because of this, I naturally gravitated towards typical Young Adult (YA) reads. The ones that had love triangles, large scale political problems that laced through small scale character relationship troubles, or even some high fantasy series whenever I had enough brain power after a long day of doing school work.
I found joy in just about every genre, and hardly limited myself to just the YA section of bookstores or libraries, however I still found myself in those sections more often than others. There is just something about a slightly cheesy, overdramatic YA book that provides a sort of comfort and serotonin boost for me. YA books can be mindless and are very open to interpretation, but are not so abstract that you have to piece the story together yourself like in some classics or adult novels. I could always count on a YA book to distract and entertain me without also requiring an intense amount of brain power.
I have noticed a change in this regard though. Recently I tried to read some of the new sequels to old series I used to enjoy in high school and in my early college career, but I noticed that the spark that was once there has now fizzled to a pathetic smoldering ember, at risk of being put out completely. I have tried forcing myself through these books nonetheless, though this is more so due to my stubbornness of feeling the need to read every book in a particular series. I realize that this is ridiculous though, I should not feel like I have to force myself through an entire book.
Doing so is not fair to me nor the book itself. By doing this I make myself miserable and I give myself a bad experience with that book that otherwise could have really entertained me had I just waited to read it once I was in the mood for it. But then I risk never reading it. This would not be such a bad thing though, and there are plenty of series that I have started and never finished, so why is it such a big deal to me now?
I am starting to think the answer to this may be because I do not want to come to terms with the fact that I have likely lost my affinity and love for this genre of books entirely. As silly as it is, I just do not know if I am ready to come to terms with the fact that these books no longer work for me like they used to. I still find the predictable nature of these books to be comforting, but now I just no longer find them interesting or entertaining. I find no satisfying stimulation from these books, and if anything, I just find myself frustrated with the writing of certain characters and plots.
I can no longer relate to many of them either, since the characters are all younger than me now and face such unrealistic problems that I cannot read about them with any sincere intent of connecting with the book. The only thing that is still slightly keeping my interest in the YA genre is the fact that books in this category tend to be the most diverse in terms of representation. Unfortunately, many authors do not make an adequate attempt at accurately representing certain communities, so I still find myself disappointed and wanting to distance myself further and further from this genre.
It is just so frustrating being a fan of a particular author for so long, and even when that author includes more diverse characters in their cast, they still find a way to misrepresent them and thus ostracize the audience that actually looked forward to seeing themselves between the pages of a world they admired for so long.
So I think I will be taking a break from those series that used to resonate so deeply with me and from YA in general. Perhaps I will forget about all of this and return to them again one day. But for now, I think it is time to move on to some books with more complex, dynamic characters with storylines that are more realistic and relatable.