Stop Blaming Victims for Rape
Assuming you actually check your UM student e-mail, you probably a message last week concerning the recent sexual assaults both on and off campus. Campus administration provided these tips to help prevent rape and other forms of assault:
To protect yourself:
- Do not leave drinks unattended and be skeptical of accepting drinks from others, even if you know them.
- Make sure that you open and pour your own drink, and don’t share drinks with others.
- Use the buddy system while socializing – when you go out with friends, agree to keep an eye on one another and to go home together.
- Be wary of anyone who is encouraging someone to drink beyond their capacity. Alcohol has been and remains the most common date rape drug.
What’s wrong with this message? The information that was present wasn’t necessarily what bothered me. I was, however, deeply disturbed by what I did not see in the e-mail.
Leaving your drink unattended does not cause rape. Neither does sharing drinks (or wearing a short skirt, a sexy top, a lot of makeup, etc.). Rapists cause rape. It is unfortunate (to put it lightly) that we live in a world where people take advantage of others. Because of this, it is important to look out after your girl/guy friends, keep an eye out for sketchy people, and try to control amounts of drinking. However, I think this advice should be in small print at the bottom of a message about date rape.
Here is my idea of an e-mail I would like to receive from campus communications next time:
Rapists have NO place in this area and any form of sexual assault will not be tolerated by the University or by the city of Missoula. Here are some basic tips to prevent rape and assault from happening:
- NEVER sleep with someone who is too intoxicated to give consent.
- Use the buddy system. If you can’t help yourself from assaulting others, bring a friend to keep an eye on you.
- If you see your friend acting inappropriately and/or giving unwanted sexual attention to another person, call your friend out and see that their behavior is stopped.
Unfortunately, there are dangerous individuals. We must do what we can to protect ourselves by looking out for one another. Stay with friends, and do not drink and drive.
I suggested a message like this to campus communications by replying to the previous e-mail. I received no response.
Please be aware of victim blaming. It is never the victim who causes rape. It’s the rapist.
Here is an example of ads that UM could use around campus to shame rapists and assaulters:
http://pinterest.com/pin/193303008975833026/