In today’s society, people are often critical of black women, more so black mothers. When Beyoncé announced her pregnancy on February 1st, 2017, the naysayers were quick to speak against her. “The lingerie doesn’t match, this is such an extra way to announce things and she needs to keep it simple, we get it – she’s pregnant, she didn’t even dance when she performed at the Grammys”, and countless other criticisms launched from people’s mouths, as well as from the internet.
Not only does Beyoncé have a right to document her motherhood and share it, she should not have to be the subject of such harsh criticism. Even though she is a celebrity, she still deserves the right to embrace and enjoy her motherhood. You might be thinking: does she really need me to defend her? Of course not, but this is more than a defense, this is a discussion and an explanation.
The criticisms Beyoncé is facing most definitely tie into the idea that black women can’t be soft, can’t be delicate, can’t be nurturing, and must be cold, hard, and strong. This concept, the idea of the “strong black woman” is something I’ve dealt with my entire life. It removes the love between a mother and her child or children, and replaces it with a frigid obligation. I see it when I look in the eyes of my mother and know that many people don’t recognize her emotions. It’s there when I watch my grandmother and know that many people don’t see her experiences as valid.
Black women go through so much – from racism to sexism to where they intersect at misogynoir. Black women have always been asked to choose – fight for their race, or fight for their sex, and no one seems to hear when they say that they must fight for both. This of course often makes them resilient, strong, and capable of so much, but under no circumstances does that make the stereotype okay.
Isn’t strength and resiliency something to be proud of? To an extent, however in this situation, it’s not a compliment. When a woman can’t cry lest she be ostracized, it sure isn’t a compliment. When a person’s feelings aren’t seen as real, when someone is expected to be so resilient that they keep going until they crack, it is not a compliment. According to research that was relayed by The Guardian, black patients are significantly less likely to receive pain medication than white patients when it came to the same or similar medical situations. Not only does this bias ignore the effects of emotional pain, it ignores the effects of physical pain as well, and has been clearly documented.
This harsh stereotype affects all black women, and trans women are no exception. A staggering number of trans women are killed every year, and according to the Human Rights Campaign, a large number of those women are black or African-American. The Human Rights Campaign continues to report that among the often violent and heartbreaking deaths of transwomen since the beginning of 2016, 96% percent were people of color, with the majority being black.
Writing this article even proved difficult due to the strong black woman stereotype, as when searching for photos, on each website I checked, only 1 or 2 mediocre photos depicted black motherhood when the word “mother” or “pregnant” were searched. The number of women of color in general, or at the very least women who were not white or white passing, was an undeniable disappointment.
Finally, after the countless black women who have had their children ripped from their hands by acts of violence, who have watched the light leave their child’s eyes, have had to fight when they had nothing left, after they’ve suffered loss, after they’ve watched the world turn its back on them when all they needed was a hand – after all this, how dare you mock Beyoncé or any other black woman’s joy in anything.
Do other women of other races go through hardships? Of course, but it’s not their story that I am telling right now.
In her visual album Lemonade, Beyonce sampled Malcolm X who said, “the most disrespected person in America is the black woman.”
He was right.
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