I have always felt differently through the seasons. The weather impacts my body, mind, and relationship with myself. It’s hard to be positive when the grey skies make me want to stay in bed. College can be stressful and when my mind feels weak due to all of the chaos, I can rely on the sunshine.
“It’s seasonal,” I tell myself when the cold becomes unbearable and I’m trapped in my own frozen world. The doubt comes creeping back into my mind as a blanket of white sweeps town. Being productive is so hard when nothing makes me want to step out into the crisp wind. The early darkness makes me wonder if the days are even worth experiencing. The chill can bring good though. Christmas makes the extra layers underneath my coat worth wearing. My life is consumed in red and green, feeling the love from my family and friends.
When spring rolls around, I feel a slight change. The sun is slowly trying to peak out while accompanied by cold rain showers. The flowers bloom and start their journey under the sun, just as I do. Winter coats turn to light jackets and people finally wear smiles on their faces. The sun finally disappears later into the night. My days are longer and give me the courage to do the things I love. Spring means that good things are coming. The world is getting brighter, filling me with warmth
Summer is when I am at my peak. I am whole again once it is June. I become one with the green grass and sunshine. Being born in the summer, I find that these are the months I feel most at home. I crave adventure in the sun. Sunsets on the beach make sitting through winter worth it. I finally get those late nights with my childhood best friends who are off spending their college experience in other states. The warm months bring me a sense of nostalgia that cannot be described. They make me feel like life is worth living and worth waiting for.
Fall brings in a mix of summer happiness and change. Every fall feels different in college. It is the start of a new chapter in my life. The air is still warm while nights are filled with a slight chill. The leaves falling remind me that life moves so fast. These leaves were just green and thriving, like me. In many different ways I am living like the leaves. Changing, growing, and crumbling through each month.
I find that it’s hard to feel the same every month. The seasons remind me that there is constant change in my life, whether I like it or not. I have become comfortable with it slowly. Finding who I am slowly through the seasons has slowly made me understand myself. I thrive in the sunshine as it comforts me through all of my challenges.