In romance movies from the 1900’s and early 2000’s (pre social media days), the couples always seem so happy and have little drama happening. This might just be the way the movie is made because there are some films like this today. But we can also see this in relationships that happened back in the day. When my mother tells me stories about when she and my father were dating, I often find myself wishing I was dating in that era. It was much different, and both parties definitely had a lot more respect for each other than relationships do today.
When did we lose touch with this side of relationships?
For whatever reason, our generation glamorized the toxic side of relationships and everything that deals with it. Almost every day when I look on social media I see a different video of things that happen in a toxic relationship becoming more glamorized. All of a sudden the things that should be happening in a relationship, like holding the door for your significant other, buying them flowers, etc, are rarely even seen anymore. Having a non-toxic relationship in this generation seems like something unattainable.
“Red flags” are traits your partner may have that are bad and are a warning sign your relationship will go down the wrong path. Even though these red flags are supposed to be signs to get out of or reevaluate your relationship, I see people on social media and even my friends ignoring the signs anyway. Our generation wants more of the physical aspects in relationships, such as looks, money, sex, etc. Because of this, we’re missing out on finding what someone’s personality is like by getting to know them and then deciding to start a relationship.
There are very few people who now ask someone they’re interested in on an actual date. We now experience just hanging out, which is also sometimes called “Netflix and chill.” This leads us to know barely anything about them except the basics like how they look and act. We’re no longer gaining the romantic connection you have when you go out on a first date with someone.
The music we listen to also plays a huge role in why toxic relationships are becoming more normalized. I feel like every song that gets released either talks about sex or money. The way artists talk about women is completely demeaning as well. When you listen to some songs from the 1900’s, they are very romantic and the lyrics are more about romantic experiences than sexual ones. One of the most common lyrics people hear in today’s songs is having sex with someone then leaving right after. People who listen to these songs, especially young adults, are thinking this is the glamorous way to live their lives. This then leads them to treat their own relationships like this, even though these artists are giving a completely unrealistic way of dating.
Personally, I’ve been in a relationship for over 2 and a half years. Even though we’ve been together for a while, there are still things I wish were different. The first time my boyfriend got me flowers was about three months ago. Now this might be something you might not care about or you may think it’s not a big deal, but something so small and simple like this shouldn’t just be overlooked.
Our generation is completely wrong when it comes to relationships. No one wants a meaningful connection with someone anymore but would rather just have multiple connections with different people. This is completely okay and there’s no judgment toward it, but our generation needs to start taking our relationships more seriously. We should not romanticize cheating on someone or just using them for whatever your intentions are. Back then, there was mutual respect in relationships and we really don’t have that anymore.