It feels nice to explore your photo gallery in the attempt to find that perfect photo you took at the beach the other day. “Yes! That’s the one” you think to yourself. Your hair is flowing just right, your smile isn’t orchestrated (your friend made you laugh mid-photo shoot), and your body looks SNATCHED. You’ve already decided on the perfect VSCO CAM filter, now with just two clicks the world will know just how awesome you are.
When all is said and done, social media can be addicting. The rush you get when the likes start streaming in, that instant validation. But when that feeling wears off do you like your unfiltered, underexposed life? Lately, I’ve been thinking about how we turn to social media to spite others.
Meaning your ex that left you in the cold that you swear is irrelevant, yet you still memorize the number of posts on their private Instagram account like the Pledge of Allegiance, waiting for the day that they finally accept your follow request on your Finsta.
You leave your real Insta page on public to enable your ex to get a whiff of your brand new Instagram worthy life without them. Once you’ve lured in the object of your jealousy driven desire with your perfectly crafted feed, they watch your story on accident and your friends won’t hear the end of how much of a creep they are.
Or how about that friend that you’re in a passive-aggressive ignore war with right now?
You both watch each other’s Snapchat stories as soon they drop to keep tabs, but you have avoided liking or sharing their last ten posts on Facebook. When you see them in person you take the longest route if necessary to avoid crossing paths.
With the same amount of energy, you’re trying to be everywhere with everyone and it doesn’t matter what activity you’re doing as long as you’ve proven that you don’t need this friend. We’ve all done it at some point.
But has anyone ever stopped to think how ODD it is?!
You’re angry at your friend, but instead of confronting them you try to stay connected and passively watch their life go by via an app.
Your significant other pissed you off but instead of talking it out, you prefer to make a mockery of both of you online.
Social media can be a bonus when it’s used in the right way, but I think a lot of us would be way happier if we put at least 50% of our time into focusing on how we interact with people outside of these virtual realities.
I know people who would cross the street if they were ever faced with their ex but still have an undying urge to know how their ex is doing without them.
It’s all about validation.
The upward or downward comparisons of our lives to others not only makes us feel better about ourselves, but it makes us feel good about doing absolutely nothing for ourselves.
Scenario 1: Darn, I haven’t started that one month gym challenge I wanted to do yet, or applied for those scholarships, or started looking for an internship that will propel my career.
“Plausible” Solution: That’s okay, Becky is about to be a teen mom. Sh*t could be worse. Oooohhh, let me screenshot that so I can spill the tea later.
See how OUTRAGEOUS that sounds? We unknowingly have these kinds of thought processes every day. We let social media control our actions IN REAL LIFE every day without even realizing it, when theoretically it should be the other way around.
You have an accomplishment in life or even a downfall and you post, correct? Seems simple enough.
I’ve seen social media control people.
I’m sure we’ve all seen social media influencers go do activities they were completely uncomfortable with, with people they actually didn’t care for, all in the name of the perfect post to stay relevant on whatever platform. Eventually we come to realize that all these things are meaningless and what matters is how people make you feel when you’re with them. Not how they make you look in front of a bunch of followers who passively like your posts in a fleeting second with little to zero thought process.
See, the thing is most of us are more concerned with how we appear to the outside world than what others are actually doing. With that, focus on yourself and living your truth.
“If Instagram didn’t exist, how would you feel about your life?