Dear Ana,
I’m sorry. I’m sorry for hating your body, for pushing you toward someone else’s dream, for shaming you because you go to therapy, for doubting your magic. You went through hell and jumped through rings of fire to get me to where I am today, and I have surpassed all your expectations for me. My friends would take a bullet for me, my GPA is phenomenal, I have a boyfriend who loves me, but I still can’t spell or dance if my life depended on it. I am both your wildest dream and scariest nightmare. But it wasn’t easy getting to this point, there’s so much advice I wish I could give you to help ease these next 8 years.
For starters, you’ll get hurt but you’ll also hurt others. You’re one of the biggest people pleasers I know to date, but it’s going to be so difficult to accept that you aren’t, and won’t ever be, everybody’s cup of coffee. No matter how much they’re your favorite blend, some people just prefer tea, and that’s okay. And vice versa. You’ll try so hard to like people just because they like you, but it will just end up hurting them when they find out the truth later on.
Tweezers are the exact godsend you imagine them to be. It’ll hurt like hell, but it’s so worth it. Although you rocked that Frida Kahlo look so well.
Love isn’t your parents’ scream battles or indifference toward one another. Love is that feeling of fear and excitement when you’re up high on a playground swing. That fluttery feeling in your heart that you might fall and get hurt battling with the adrenaline rushing through you as you reach to touch the clouds. The latter always wins. Love will find you on a chilly, sun-filled March afternoon.
No one likes a know-it-all. Don’t act like you’re the crème de la crème, humble yourself or it will come back to bite you very soon.
I know you think life is difficult right now and you have no idea what you’re going to do to get out of it, but this is all part of growing up. So much is coming your way, hard and fast, but I’m writing this to tell you that it can all be overcome. Things will look up eventually, but in the meantime, don’t be afraid to be a work in progress.
So much love,
Your future self