Whether it be it due to people, places, or things, I didn’t move as far forward as I would have liked to in 2016. Now well into the new year, I want to reflect on what has been holding me back, address it openly, and move on. From toxic friendships to my own fear of failure, this article will likely resonate with anyone who has ever felt like they weren’t moving in the right direction.
Dear Anxiety,
I need to move on. I can’t let fear and what-if’s keep me from living my life. I get it, you’re trying to protect me. But the problem is your over-protective nature is slithering and shaking into every crevice of my life. From the moment I wake up to the second I close my eyes to sleep, I can hear you in the back of my mind, questioning every decision I make, each thing I do, everywhere I go. I can’t (and won’t) let you control me. Some things will be scary, yes, and I might even get hurt and prompt an “I told you so”, but that’s life, and I am determined to live it.
Dear Ex-Friend,
It’s not my fault that you couldn’t accept me for who I am. The demise of our relationship was inevitable once you decided who I should be instead of working with who I was. Friendships can’t work – actually, life can’t work – if you’ve made up your mind about how things should be, with no flexibility to welcome the fact that things change. I try to bend you and you break into sharp, accusatory shards that then refuse to move. I’ve learned from my mistakes, and I’ve learned from yours too.
Times change, people change, I’ve changed, and I’m sorry that you can’t see that that’s okay.
Dear Failure,
I’ve always been afraid of you. You loom over every act I make. Even now, as I type this, I see you hovering over every key I press. Here’s the thing: you’re not something I can avoid, so I have to accept that the two of us will be very well acquainted at times. I’m not perfect, and frankly, have no intentions to be. My flaws come together in the most beautiful way to shape who I am.
Will I stop trying to run away from you? Of course not. But I’ll do my very best to make sure we stay as far apart as humanly possible.
You can’t ruin me because I won’t let you, and you can’t bring me down because I am upward bound.
Sincerely,
Wishing you my best,
Regards,
Ciarra