As the holidays approach, many of us are opening up to new connections, especially online or at parties. It’s important to always prioritize your safety, especially when meeting strangers. Here are some tips to keep you or a friend safe from any “tricks” this year.
What do “tricks” look like?
“Tricks” can look like scams, catfishing, pressuring, stalking, or different forms of abuse. While this is not always the outcome, it is important to look out for red flags. These red flags may include asking for money, giving vague answers, asking for personal information, love bombing, or asking to meet too soon. While these may seem obvious, you may not even realize what is happening at the moment.
Avoiding Scams
While it’s fun to be someone you’re not for Halloween, it certainly is not so fun to talk to someone who is pretending to be someone else when it’s not the 31st You may have seen shows or TikToks of people being catfished online, it is something that happens more than you’d think. People may not always catfish for appearance purposes but also to scam others such as asking for sensitive information like your address and/or bank account information. This can be asked in creative ways such as wanting to send you flowers to your address or asking for financial help. Do not send live photos as scammers can find your geolocation information from the photo. Look for their social media accounts and see if you have any mutuals. Before meeting up in person, a good tip is to try to Facetime or video chat with them first to be sure they are not catfishing.
Your friends care more than you think
Don’t ice your friends out or put all your attention on dating (besides, school comes first). You will miss out on so many experiences college has to offer as well as creating lifelong meaningful friendships. While it is exciting to meet someone new and get into the dating scene, genuine friends provide a space for support and great advice. Leaving your friends at parties or in general is hurtful to them but can also threaten your safety. You may have heard this multiple times, but always stick with a group and protect your drink. Trust me, your true friends always want the best for you!
Always tell a friend where you are going
This is a follow up from the last tip;always keep trustworthy people in the loop. Make sure you share your location before leaving and send update texts when you can. It’s best to meet in a public space such as a restaurant, bar, coffee shop, or just anywhere with lots of people. Avoid isolated places such as dorm rooms or empty parking lots (many of us have been there, please don’t do that again bestie).
Set your Boundaries
With hookup culture, it’s hard to tell when people are looking for a meaningful relationship. It’s important to discuss boundaries before moving forward. Whether you are looking for something serious or casual, it’s important to let the other person know!
Don’t feel pressured to go against safe sex
If you choose to hook up with people or move forward with your current or potential partner, please be safe about it! If someone is pressuring you against being safe, try to have a conversation emphasizing your concerns for your safety and others. If they continue to pressure you, they are not trustworthy and reckless so you have every right to leave. Take advantage of our on-campus health center or a local Planned Parenthood. Montclair State Student Health Center (located in Blanton Hall) provides confidential sexual health services right here on campus. You can schedule an appointment for STI testing or treatment, birth control, emergency contraception, PrEP for HIV prevention, as well as other sexual health services by calling 973-655-3459.
Trust your gut!
If you just have that feeling with a certain person – either they seem to have bad intentions or something seems off, trust your gut! There are so many stories I have heard from friends who have avoided horrible situations by trusting their gut. Never feel pressured to continue seeing or talking to someone, your safety and comfort come first. So don’t “fall” for any “tricks” this year!
“Sexual assault and harassment are never acceptable and are never the victim’s fault no matter what you were wearing, drinking, or whom you were with. The National Sexual Assault Hotline (800.656.HOPE and online.rainn.org) is here to listen and provide resources, and is anonymous, free, and available 24/7.”