Streaming services like Netflix, Amazon Prime Video and Hulu should have their own collective award show. I can just picture it now, it takes place in an old school movie theater. Netflix personalities all the way from the A-listers to the up and coming stars milling about the red carpet in their comfiest pajamas.
Screw the musical performances, at this award show there’s timed cupcake decoration contests and puppy parades. The audience proceeds to Tweet their reactions instead of actually expressing them as they are seated in soundproof sleeping pods with a flat screen planted in front of them. Wine, blankets and munchies are ushered over to each person on the guest list before the show starts so as to not disturb them. The guests have the ability to pause and rewind the award show at their leisure. Sometimes a quick text or bathroom break is needed. When somebody wins, their pod lights up and Siri asks them to leave their pods and step up to the stage that is situated in the next room over. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense and the kinks still need to be worked out but hey, it’s the first annual streaming service award show.
Everybody is awaiting to see who will win the biggest award of the night, best original series—it’s obviously going to be something Netflix related. Netflix takes the cake for a majority of the awards that night, Noah Centineo and Lana Candor accept the best teen romance award for “To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before.” The cast of “Orange is The New Black” wins for the most Outstanding Dramedy and Most Culturally Diverse and Representational Television Series. Steven Avery accepts his award from the big screen. “Atypical” is up for three nominations and comedy specials from all three platforms take home a little ol’ trophy in the shape of a rotten tomato.
The best thing about the streaming service award show is that older titles are included too. There’s talks of “The Office” doing a reboot and memes from the show are at an all-time high, pegging viewers to re-watch all of their favorite episodes. Why not include them in the award show? After all, the numbers don’t lie, and everybody loves to see Jim Halpert and Dwight Schrute duke it out over opening scene pranks. By way of high-tech analytics, the streaming services are able to examine which throwback movies and series have been most watched over the past year and submit them to the academy for further evaluation.
Each year there will be a sweepstakes where viewers have to watch as many films and original series as possible, study the categories and then take a quiz to test their knowledge on the latest happenings in the streaming world. What are the most watched series on Hulu? Are there even any quality movies on Amazon Prime Video, free of charge? What’s leaving Netflix next month? Guess three right and you’ll progress to the next question, each harder than the last. Only a true film/TV buff will win an all-expenses paid trip to the award show all the way out in Los Angeles, California. They’ll get to sit front row, meet their favorite actors and even be styled by some of the greatest costume designers in the streaming service game. Heck, throw in a five second cameo in your favorite series, too.
Did you forget that this never actually happened? Yeah, me too. I got lost in my own imagination, but this should seriously happen. What should we call it? The Streamer Awards? The Binge Olympics? Whatever the case, let’s start a petition to get this thing going and give the people what they want.