If just the word “Calculus” sends a shiver down your spine, then you and I have a lot in common. The only difference may be that you haven’t taken Calculus yet and are wondering why in the world am I telling you that you should venture down that road. As someone who took AP Calculus BC and lived to tell the tale, I want you to know that there is more to it than just “learning math.”
Math was never my strong suit growing up; the first “C” I ever got was in my middle school pre-Algebra class. As I went through the motions of high school, I repeated the same mantra: I’m going to major in English because I’m good at it and I won’t ever have to take math again. I carried that with me every year, never daring to step out of my comfort zone. I took Pre-Calc my junior year and finished math early. I was left with two options: take AP Calc or take the relaxing, math-free path.
Maybe it’s the overachiever in me, maybe the Devil possessed me and wanted to give me another year of hell, but I decided to take AP Calc. Not even AP Calc AB, which only covers Calc 1, but AP Calc BC: the combination of Calc 1 and Calc 2. And when I tell you that year was hell, here’s what I mean: Nights spent wide awake with nothing but a calc textbook and notes, crying in the hallways after an impossible lesson was taught, crying again after grades were posted, sacrificing free time to spend after school hours with the Calc teacher, and doing problem after problem after problem. It didn’t help that I was a heavily involved student, and would have days where I’d end up spending a band lesson secretly doing Calc homework on my music stand.
Photo by Bethany Olive
You’re probably reading this with terror in your eyes. Trust me, there’s a good ending.
I didn’t believe I could pass the AP Calc exam. I had to have a friend look at my score for me because I couldn’t bear to see a 1 (out of 5) pop up on the screen. To my shock, I got a 4.
That moment taught me a lot of things at once. For one, it taught me that I’m capable of more than I thought. I could no longer say “I’m not good at math” with a score like that. It also taught me the value of discipline and hard work. I had never worked so hard to understand a subject and the fact that it paid off, made me realize that dedication is key when it comes to learning. Nothing is going to be done for you, but with enough devotion (and a great teacher) you can do something you never thought was possible. Even now, I can recognize these same Calculus concepts in my Chemistry classes and understand the lessons better. Oh yeah, I also became a Biology major because after realizing that if I could learn math, science is now an open door.
It opened my mind to learning more, as I had pushed my brain to its working limit all throughout Calculus. I saw that with anything, there’s always a bigger picture. Calc wasn’t just a series of equations you had to memorize; it was a bunch of concepts brought forth to answer two simple questions: What is the Slope of the Secant Line and the Area Under a Curve?
Knowing that each piece is just a part of one puzzle takes away the fear of trying to completely understand each piece. One piece of the puzzle looks like nothing, but once you start connecting other pieces together you start to realize what it’s actually trying to show you. That fear of not understanding something the first time goes away because with Calculus the only way you can learn something is through constant practice and connecting it to the broader picture. It demonstrates that with anything you want to learn, you must be ready to fail. You will fail again and again until suddenly, you get it right. And then you fail again. But it’s that one success that keeps you going. That one success that leads to your next one, and your next one, until one day you look back and see how much you’ve achieved.
I am not a math genius, but there is something powerful about being able to say I know Calculus and am a Woman in Science. If at the end of my story, you still don’t want to learn Calculus, that’s fine. What I want you to see is that you’re only bad at something if you say you are. You won’t know you can do something unless you try. Next time you catch yourself saying “I can’t do that” I want you to instead ask yourself, “Could I do that?’
The message I want you to take away is basically: Try something new. Do something that scares you. And take Calculus. You never know what you could learn.
Photo by Bethany Olive