It’s 2:00 a.m. on a Saturday and your phone buzzes, letting you know that you have a text. That’s not unusual; you’re usually up texting your friends this late anyway, but this time it’s from him-That boy who lives in the dorm or the apartments not too far away. You see him at Starbucks a few times a week and you even went out to lunch
with him yesterday, and now you kind of have a little crush. He’s your definition of perfect and an absolute sweetheart with impeccable manners too. All the 2:00 a.m. text says is “Hey, wassup :)”, but that little smiley face has a million thoughts racing through your head. Does he want to talk? Is it about something important? Does he like me too? Will I look desperate if I put a smiley too? Despite all the things you know you want to say to him, all you write is, “Not much, just watching a movie”. He responds quickly with, “You wanna come over?” Wait. What? Well now this changes everything; you’re excited at first, thinking it means that he really likes you and he wants to hang out, just the two of you. You think, wouldn’t it just be so adorable if he even cuddled with you?
No, no it wouldn’t, because at 2:00 a.m. no man is thinking about how “adorable” it would be to cuddle. Of course, there are good guys out there who don’t always want to take advantage of an opportunity for sex, but the reality is that most guys do. As women, we have to be careful about how we portray ourselves and what situations we put ourselves into. It’s so easy for a simple act like wearing a low-cut shirt can be misconstrued as wanting sexual attention from men, when, in fact, you were rushing and grabbed the first shirt you could find, forgetting that it showed so much of your goods. Also, we need to be real with ourselves ladies. If that boy that you’ve been hanging out with as “just a friend” texts or calls you during bootycall hours-defined by most people as being between 11:00 p.m. and 4:00 a.m.-he probably does not want to just talk. We try to convince ourselves that we’re just going to “watch a movie” or just “cuddle”, but we put ourselves in compromising, even dangerous situations with men simply because we want to have a relationship with them and believe that they’re somehow different than the other ones. I’m not saying all men are crap, but we as women have to make sure that we’re not compromising our standards or lying to ourselves just to feel loved or wanted. As RuPaul so famously says, “If you don’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else!”
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Moore chapter.