So, I’m currently in this super cool project at my college called the Peer Body Project. I had my first session a week ago and I have to talk about it because it’s amazing and I feel like people don’t talk about what I’m about to talk about nearly enough, if at all.
It’s a group of about seven people who gather together to talk about body image issues and how the world and society have created false views of what women and men should look like. There is more than one group, but for the first session my group focused a lot on the media.
It’s crazy to me that while television shows have gotten better at diversity, body diversity is still non-existent. I myself am quite a fan of pretty much every dating show that exists: Love Island, the Bachelor franchise, Too Hot to Handle, Are You The One, the list goes on and on. On those shows every single girl has long hair, tan skin, and is always skinny while showing off her bikini. Always. On extremely rare occasions when someone has a different body type, they are humiliated in some way or drawn attention to in ways where their weight becomes their defining personality. That is not okay!
We talked about celebrities and how “plus-sized” (this shouldn’t be a word) women get roles like the funny best friend. Don’t even get me started on the DUFF; for those of you who don’t know, it’s a movie where they took a beautiful girl and labeled her as the designated ugly and fat friend. We need to pay more attention to what the media is conveying to people.
A lot of it is money. People have so many ads for weight loss that aren’t FDA approved and they’re praying on people’s insecurities.
On social media and on magazines, people are computerized to look thinner than they are. Models are starved and pass out on runways. I don’t understand how this isn’t a problem to people and how people can scroll through their feeds while seeing people with eating disorders and tell them they look hot and sexy?
I myself struggled with an eating disorder in high school and it was not fun. In our group we talked about the consequences of listening to the media’s portrayal of a “perfect woman” which we described as having white teeth, an hourglass figure, a thin body, blonde or brunette hair, cute nails, tan skin, arms that aren’t muscular or masculine, etc. Consequences I experienced include, not enjoying exercise for one because I would run off all my calories and energy for that day and just feeling horrible about myself. It got to the point whereI was proud of myself for not eating and it ruined my experience with food.. I was obsessed with calories,was tired all the time, and became borderline depressed from it. I thought thinness would make me likable and loveable but it only made me hate myself.
In the end, I talked about how I would never go back to that life because my life is so much better now. When I’m a healthy weight and don’t listen to other people’s opinions on how thin I need to be, I’m happier. I’ve gotten more done. I’ve done better in school and attracted more of the right people in my life.
I also volunteer at a crisis helpline and when going through training, we covered tons of mental illnesses, yet we didn’t cover eating disorders. I had to bring it up myself. I don’t think they’re talked about nearly enough. There are girls AND guys starving themselves RIGHT NOW.
Obviously change isn’t immediate, but we should at least normalize posting real photos instead of filtered ones and stop reinforcing the “perfect woman” and “perfect man.” We should realize that once we get to that perfection (which we won’t because you can never win) that it offers only consequences and zero benefits. Thinness isn’t happiness.
Be you. Everyone is different. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. Eat when you want to.
I used to feel guilty every time I ate ice-cream. Now, I do it freely and I feel proud after because I’m unapologetically my healthy self.
Next time you feel fat, look in the mirror until you prove to yourself you’re not. Before my next session, that’s one of my homework assignments. I have to stand in a mirror and point out at least three good physical characteristics. I urge you to try the same.