Being a freshman in college is a difficult time, especially for someone who didn’t know how hard it would actually be. After being here for a couple months, I’ve finally started to realize that my first year here may not live up to my expectations, and that’s okay. College life definitely takes some getting used to. Here’s what I’ve experienced in the past two months and how it helped me start to become my own person.
Leaving Home
I live in a small town on the west side of Michigan. Although it was small, it left a huge impact on me, and I don’t think I really appreciated it until I left. Being from a small town, I was limited to many things. I always thought I was meant for more than small-town life, which is why I decided to apply to MSU. I thought it would be my new home, but I’m coming to realize that adapting to a new place is harder than I thought.
Move-in day was probably one of the hardest and most emotional days I’ve ever experienced. On one hand, I was excited to start over and move away from my hometown, but on the other, I was scared and sad that I was leaving behind my entire life. The second my parents left, it hit me. I was completely alone. My roommate and I weren’t exactly friends yet, so I had no one to talk to. The feeling only got worse as the week progressed, but I had to learn that I needed to be comfortable with my own company.
Friendships
Back home, I made friends everywhere I went, but here it’s almost as if I’m not interesting enough for people to like me. As I stated before, I have never felt as alone as I do now. Although it has gotten better as the weeks go on, I still have made very few connections here. I’m not sure what it is, but people seem to have their own groups already established with no room for me in them. It took me a few weeks to realize that I might not make friends right away, even though it was something I’ve been craving since I’ve gotten here. It’s something that takes time, and especially when it comes to freshman year, patience is a skill I needed to grasp and fast.
Another thing I failed to expect when transitioning to college was the way my hometown friendships would change as well as how much I missed having someone around that truly understands me. The people I’ve met here are great, but they don’t compare to my friends at home, at least not yet. I just miss the people I grew up with, the people who know me. I keep in touch with my old friends, but we are living our own lives now and I need to be okay with that.
Mental Health
Being here at MSU has definitely taken a toll on my mental well-being. The stress of classes, trying to make new friends, and just starting over in general can be really overwhelming, so it’s important to prioritize yourself. This is something I learned the hard way. The first few weeks here were rough. I was anxious almost every day and was dealing with waves of depression, which are not only common in college freshmen, but also expected. It was never something that I thought I had to worry about, but when it hit me, it hit harder than ever.
Finding Myself
I’ve come to accept that I’m not perfect and it’s completely okay to be struggling. Many college freshmen feel the same way that I do and we all will get over it in our own time. I’ve learned that I need to be comfortable with myself and figure out who I am outside of the small town where I was raised. College is almost like a reset button on life; you can be whoever you want to be, it just takes some time to decide who that is. Which, once again, is completely normal. Friendships will come and go as you experience life, and it’s no different here. Some people will like you, some won’t. In the end, it doesn’t truly have anything to do with you. As long as you’re comfortable with yourself and the person you are, everything will be just fine.
Transitioning to college is one of the hardest adjustments I’ve made and it’s definitely not easy, but that’s okay. It’s taken some getting used to, but I’m finally starting to feel like this is the place for me, even if I struggle from time to time. Change is scary, but it’s best to walk into the fear of the unknown instead of running away from it. Everything will be okay, even if it doesn’t seem like it right now.