I have struggled with anxiety for years. It had become a part of my everyday life, something that I was used to dealing with and working around. During my freshman year, I hit a breaking point. The responsibilities kept piling up and I wasn’t able to relax or cope with stress whatsoever. After seeking help from my primary care provider, I was prescribed anti-anxiety medication. Here are some of the changes I have noticed since being medicated.
1. No morning anxiety.
I used to wake up every morning in a panic. From the moment my eyes snapped open, I had a feeling of dread. I would rack my brain, trying to remember what I was supposed to be upset or worried about. Realization never came. I had nothing to be worried about, but the feeling of impending doom stuck around regardless. I no longer feel like this — I wake up with a clear mind, well-rested and relaxed. I am able to enjoy my coffee and my morning before diving into what I need to do for the day. The tasks ahead of me no longer cloud my mind and ruin my day from the moment I wake up.
2. Focusing on one task is much easier.
The largest moment of clarity for me came while I was studying. I looked up from my computer and realized that I had been focused on the singular task at hand for the last hour, and my brain wasn’t wandering off to the other subsequent tasks: the laundry, the trash that needs to go out, and the essay I have to write. None of it was weighing me down and I was able to completely focus on what was in front of me. This was a feeling I had not experienced in years.
3. Somehow, I’m much less forgetful.
Though my to-do list is not sitting at the front of my mind all day long, I’ve had a much easier time prioritizing and finally getting things done. Tasks don’t seem as dreadful. I’m simply able to get one thing done and do the next, without panicking in between. I am able to distinguish mountains from mole hills, without feeling like I’m going to snap underneath the weight of everything I need to accomplish.
4. I’ve been much less irritable.
Before being medicated, I was easily angered. The tiniest things would add up, feeling extremely overwhelming, before I eventually snapped over something small. I experienced a lot of sensory issues, unable to ever relax or feel comfortable. The feeling of my shirt against my skin would drive me crazy and the sound of a friend tapping their foot would send me into rage. I no longer experience this, which allows me to enjoy each moment more.
5. Fears over my health have significantly decreased.
Anxiety often manifests itself into an obsession with one’s physical health. This was absolutely the case for me. I was paranoid over getting sick, a fear that was heightened by the COVID-19 pandemic. I often found myself hyper-focusing on myself and over-analyzing a simple cough to the point where I would end up feeling physically ill. I have not experienced this symptom of anxiety since my medication took effect.
There is absolutely no shame in getting medicated. If you’re struggling with anxiety or any other mental disorder, it’s important to remember that you do not have to live or feel like this. There are resources and help available.
NOTE:
If you’re in need of immediate help: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/find-help/index.shtml will help direct you to resources for your any specific needs.
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ 24 hour suicide prevention lifeline.