When I wrote my first ever published article this past September with Her Campus, I hung onto my notebook and my words as a comfort item to get me through the transition from my small town and two-person household to a campus with over 50,000 students. Turns out not putting down my pen has made me more settled in this new place than I ever thought I could be in just my first year. Not only have I fallen in love with my passion for writing and journalism, but I have found more confidence in my abilities and become self-assured in what I can do with other people’s words through the power of journalism and perspective. In my first article ever, when I first learned to use the new passion surfacing within me, I set intentions for myself to feel in place and belong in college. I wanted to revisit this list and explain how I was able to use this intention to my advantage, and truly find happiness and contentment in East Lansing, Michigan State University, and within myself.
FIND YOUR BALANCE
It turns out balance is hard to come by when you are flipped completely upside down. I don’t think I was giving myself enough credit for how different college life was compared to my home life. I don’t think I was fair enough to myself to allow myself time to adjust instead of just falling in line. However, balance came easily once I Iet my crazy expectations of my social equilibrium fall away and allowed myself to naturally fall into a routine. However, this intention was definitely one of my most important ones. Balance is so important in college, and I have realized I have lots of workaholic tendencies that I had to fight through. While work makes me feel fulfilled when I have a full plate and a checked off to-do list, I also realized that humans do things like get tired and feel burnt out. While I was happy to get a job at State News and do freelance work, continue to shape my portfolio, and get crazy journalistic clips that I am proud of, I also was happy laughing with my friends, going out and not thinking about what lies in our laptops one bit. I think I was able to set boundaries for myself, allowing myself a nap and a movie or two even in the toughest and busiest of times. Life is a deadline, but sometimes you have to procrastinate for your own mental health.
FOLLOW YOUR GUT INSTINCT
My gut instinct was definitely a primary motor for me and my motivation this year. While I feel like I work hard to perfect my decision making skills, I also fell into lots of amazing situations, only being able to make split second gut decisions. The amazing situations only had one answer: “Yes!” This brought me some once in a lifetime opportunities like interviewing both Renee Elise Goldsberry and US Senator Debbie Stabenow. I did kick my gut out of the way when I was nervous to participate in these great opportunities, knowing that it would make me happy in the long run even if I suffer from an upset stomach right before the interviews. My gut instincts have also been able to push out some people that I met in college that I knew did not value me in their lives, using my gut for both social and professional development. I am a true believer that you need to use your head along with your gut, but sometimes your head gets tired in college. Your gut is the next best thing.
YOU WILL CONTINUE TO MEET PEOPLE; THE FIRST MAY NOT BE THE BEST
Now, I have found this to be true, but also not so true. My first friend I met in the bathroom of my hall has continued to be one of my best friends throughout this year. However, I have had lots of my favorite people also pop out of nowhere. A new best friend was hired at my work halfway through the year. One of my best friends, and my roommate next year, started as my current roommate’s friend first, but then we immediately fell in love and have been inseparable since. The push to meet your best friends right away is definitely a hoax with a constant rush of new people at your hands when just existing on this campus, as well as joining clubs and finding people that relate to me. I have so many friends this year that I have a unique and special relationship with, each one having different inside jokes and memories than the next. I was worried about friends this year because I have a lot of great ones at home that I didn’t think anyone could compare to, but it’s not true. Michigan State has given me so many special friendships I would not give up for the world.
FOLLOWING THE CROWD WON’T ALWAYS MAKE YOU HAPPY
The funny thing is that this intention changed quite a bit. The mainstream – parties, football games, and mindless fun – actually makes me very happy when I am surrounded by the correct people and feel comfortable in the situation. Mainstream fun is part of the college experience, and for lack of a better word, it’s pretty awesome and makes for memorable nights. The things that others may not find as fun as I do such as theater actually came with my job at State News doing theater and entertainment reporting. I was able to indulge my love for theater and niche audience performances with this job and share it through my own words to my own niche audience that wanted to hear about it through my articles. This fun was the most rewarding for me, and I was able to create my own crowd through this love.
ALLOW YOURSELF BOUNDARIES
Comfort in your group and situation is what made or broke my college fun this year. My boundaries were respected when I found a group that would rally around me if I felt uncomfortable and I would do the same for them. Alone time was also part of these boundaries, and I definitely made sure to give myself time for this: taking walks, doing solo errands, taking myself on coffee dates, or even just taking a nap. Alone time was essential to refill my social battery, and no one ever judged me for it. It doesn’t matter if you were an only child or had 12 brothers before, everyone understands your need for alone time due to the overwhelming nature of college.
DON’T LET THE FEAR OF MISSING OUT CONTROL YOU
I am still working on this one, but I blame the romanticism of social media for this one. I have had problems with pushing myself to go out because it’s the standard especially as the year wraps up and everyone is doing it. Sometimes I end up having a worse time than if I had just stayed in and had a movie night with my closest friends, and sometimes it’s one of the best nights in a while. This chance is what creates this fear. I think that this fear has lessened, however, because I have friends now that would have a good time doing either, making every night memorable even if it’s not inherently postable.
REACH OUT TO HOME FOR COMFORT
This stayed a constant in my life, making this year even easier with home always at my fingertips. My amazing mom and I talk everyday. My grandparents are on speed dial if I even have the slightest question. One of my best friends came up several weekends just to see me and get coffee or chop up conversation, while another constantly texts me updates on their life. While a lot of specific home contact got less and less as I got wrapped up in my newfound life in East Lansing, the most important people stayed within arm’s reach, knowing my life had not completely changed and my support system had not flipped, but only doubled.
SIMPLY COEXIST
I don’t feel the need to coexist anymore, which is a great feeling. I feel completely ingrained in life here, not living as a guest, but as a fully formed member of society here. I did form a relationship with everyone in my living quarters, and it feels a lot better than not doing so. I grew close with my roommate, staying involved in each other’s lives, became best friends with the girl down the hall, deciding to be neighbors with two of my other best friends down the hall next year as well as being a third member of their dorm, and even just having conversations at least weekly with the other residents. I would much rather truly exist than coexist, you just have to give yourself time to do so.
REFLECT INWARD ON DOUBTS
This is a hard lesson to learn because it has to do with changing your whole insecure mindset that is inherent with large change. Most doubts I had were absolutely within myself because I had good relationships with others once I gave myself enough time to feel comfortable and got close to many of those I clicked with immediately. It was all within my own time because with time and continuous validation that you belong in the place you’re in, your doubts will float away along with your own inner fears.
EVERYONE FEELS THE SAME WAY YOU DO
This is the intention I am most certain of. There is not one person who doesn’t ever have a bad day. There is not one person who does not ever feel the weight of college and living alone. There was not one person that I spoke to that didn’t need their own time and self-assurance period to feel like they belonged. Some are still working on it, and I know that some days I take steps backwards where I need to self-evaluate again and reassure myself of my success here this year on bad days. Everyone has this. The most important thing to continuing and recognizing your own success without the doubts alongside them is to know you are not alone. With time, I realized this, and took a deep breath.
This year has been incredibly shaping and honestly fantastic. I have found love in my major and I have made memories that are still hard for me to believe. I am so happy with how I am leaving East Lansing this spring. I am ready to come back with this knowledge next year, using it to craft yet another year just as successful and fun as the last. College is a whirlwind, but it was the perfect storm of a freshman year.