Journey

Two years ago I arrived here. 

It is within these strange moments that I seem to regain consciousness.

To regain the awareness that I am, 

and that I am not the person who started this journey.

To call it a journey feels in and of itself facetious. 

I did not set out on some quest. 

To accomplish, 

To grow and change.

Perhaps I did at some point set out to recover.

 To rebuild my life.

 but not truly on some journey. 

In these few moments, all I have to offer is that I am no longer the same. 

Perhaps that is not a bad thing. 

There indeed exists a struggle to rejoin all of the pieces and form one unified story,

Especially within the knowledge that I do not believe this was the trajectory,

I started on. 

But do not mistake me as displeased with the place I have found myself. 

Though I have exited that dark night not completely intact, 

I have exited into a morning, promising a day of sunlight.

Built from the rubble of everything that came before. 

I admit that I don’t entirely know what happiness looks like to me-

How do I know I am living well? 

But I know that it has been a while since I have felt despair. 

I know it has been a while since I have felt the walls close in.

• creative writing
• hcmsu
• mental health
• MSU
• poetry