I, like most college freshmen, was beyond excited about the transition from high school to college. I went to a pretty small high school in a smaller town, to one of the biggest universities in the state. I felt so ready for a new start and challenges at Michigan State University (MSU). For the most part, this has remained true. But as I started to settle in, I felt so much dread about classes, and being away from home stopped being novel. In the dorm room I spent weeks trying to make honey, I felt like a stranger.Â
I was struggling with this move. I was constantly calling my mom, just waiting for weeks to pass. Last year I felt overwhelmed and stuck. I believed that college would change that, and make me have fewer bad days. I just thought I needed a change of pace and scenery. And of course, all the excitement around the prospect of going to MSU and doing what I wanted after graduation made any negative feelings in college impossible.Â
One of the most upsetting and unexpected feelings I had was loneliness. I was prepared to live in the dorms, and I have three roommates. It seemed that with all those people around it would be hard to feel lonely, but I was wrong.
It’s hard enough to hear all the kids outside the dorms having fun on a night you decided to stay in, but it’s worse when it is on a night you just didn’t have any plans, or absolutely have to study. This anxiety about not doing things has made me, and everyone I know, go out or do something that they really have no interest in doing. With a freshman class larger than my hometown’s population, I did not realize the potential isolation all the commotion of people around me could be. No matter how much fun I had, I felt pressure, always asking myself if it lived up to what it “should be”. Stopping this way of thinking was crucial for me to start living in the moment.Â
It’s important to remember that so many college students feel this way, and that it’s possible to overcome it. I learned though it is helpful to remember that almost every student gets homesick, just because “everyone gets homesick”, doesn’t mean you should dismiss your feelings. Make sure you still take time to understand the individuality of your situation and what could help you. I had to try and feel comfortable, which made me feel like I was doing the “college thing” wrong. I spent a few weeks implementing more things to feel less homesick. I stopped trying to measure my experiences. From there, I really enjoyed the fun I was already having!Â
For me, this was a situation where the excitement and massive expectations promised some letdown. However, when I reflect on what I’ve experienced so far, I’m grateful for how smoothly it’s gone. The sense of independence, the people I’ve met, and the clubs I have joined broke all the expectations I had for my college experience. Other than classes being so hard, I love being here, even if it’s not what I initially dreamed. I realized there is truly nothing wrong or uncommon about struggling with the huge transition from high school to a big place like MSU, and I am very excited for the rest of these years knowing better what to expect!