When I hear someone say, “I’m not a feminist” – four words I hear far too often, even among university women – I immediately cringe. It isn’t because I think they’re as sexist or bigoted as their words would suggest. Rather, it’s because when someone says those four words, what I hear is, “I don’t know what feminism is.”
The third wave of feminism has been met with plenty of opposition, but it seems that by 2016 people would collectively understand that feminism, at its core, has good intentions. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Feminism still faces adversaries on every level and from all demographics, despite the fact that the sole principle of the movement is “the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities.”
If you accept this official definition of the movement, it seems strange that anyone could justify not being a feminist, and yet, it happens every day for a number of reasons. One of the most common and frustrating reasons is the idea that feminism is the equivalent of hating men, and feminists seek to oppress. While it is true that self-proclaimed feminists have rallied against men in the past, their actions were a result of ignorance, as the movement, by definition, does not support one sex ruling over the other. The movement this truly represents is “misandry,” or “a hatred of men”.
A golden rule that I like to suggest to anyone who believes that “feminists” are synonymous with misandrists, is to consider the issue in the context of the Klu Klux Klan, who considers themselves a Christian organization. If you agree that, despite their proclamations otherwise, they don’t represent actual Christian values, then congratulations! You have no reason to believe that misandrists who proclaim otherwise represent feminist values.
Unfortunately, many feminists still suffer from these misconceptions, with some celebrities refusing to call themselves feminists. While many celebrities are proud to announce their support of the movement, including Nicki Minaj, Amy Poehler, Taylor Swift, Emma Watson, Daniel Radcliffe, Ryan Gosling and John Legend, a surprising number refuse to call themselves a feminist. Among these celebrities are Evangeline Lilly, Carrie Underwood and Shailene Woodley.
Most instances of celebrities saying that they aren’t feminists involve them trying to clarify that, while they do support the equality of the sexes, they don’t want to be associated with the connotation carried by feminism. When a celebrity denounces feminism, it hurts the movement and teaches fans that feminism is something shameful.
Feminism actually provides many benefits for males, though many think the root word being “female” excludes men. This is far from the truth. Being “feminine,” through biology, gender identity or stereotyping, has been a cause of oppression for both men and women. Women have typically been typecast as “feminine,” the traditional definition being dainty, frail, emotional and nurturing – qualities that have never stood on the same tier as the traditional definition of “masculinity.” The feminine qualities of women made them unsuitable to vote, own property or care for themselves. Today, the perceived flaws of femininity still hurt women. For instance, employers can use stereotypes to justify not promoting women, leading to the pay gap and glass ceiling.
Just as all women do not meet the feminine stereotype, which makes all of these ideas ridiculous, all men are not the masculine, emotionless lumberjack they are often expected to be. Men are often denied the ability to be sentimental, to be a good parent, and even to cry, a human function often considered “girly”. This idea that one’s genitalia determines their qualities is extremely harmful as it denies people the right to be who they are. Feminism seeks to empower all of those who have been oppressed by the gender binary and recognizes that a person’s abilities and worth are based on qualities which have no correlation to their sex.
A common argument against feminism is the fact that mothers often win custody battles with no regard to their parenting skills. Favoring women like this is actually sexist, as it upholds the idea that all women are natural caregivers. Since feminism dictates that anyone can possess “masculine” or “feminine” qualities, it respects that a man can be just as good of a parent, or better, as any woman.
The above issue debunks a popular belief about feminism, that gender equality has already been achieved. There are numerous on-going issues that universal feminism could solve. The fact that sexist Donald Trump is a serious contender for president and that a pro-masculinity and rape group currently exists certainly proves this point. Furthermore, this argument against feminism is almost always in the context of white women. While I don’t believe gender equality exists for any race, feminist issues are certainly more numerous and severe for people of color.
Being white myself, I doubt that I could explain “white feminism” without being hypocritical in some way, but this is all the more reason to acknowledge it. Ignoring intersectionality when discussing feminism is a mistake that most, if not all, white feminists make. While I do believe it’s often due to ignorance and naivety, I think it’s important to acknowledge, understand and try to eradicate the issue to the best of our ability. Feminism was started by white women, and I believe as a result of ethnocentrism and ignorance on the part of white feminists, many POC have not felt included.
I believe that in order to be a true feminist and to truly promote the cause, we need to work for more intersectionality. As third wave feminism is about equality for all, POC should not feel alienated, and all feminists should seek to understand, acknowledge and oppose all gender crimes.
It’s easy to become frustrated when dealing with people who fail to understand feminism, especially if they’re more bigoted than ignorant, but becoming angry is more likely to perpetuate feminist stereotypes than solve them. Supporting equal rights and the end of all sexism is something to be proud of, but to make the entire world see that, we need to be confident and clear on our goals as feminists. When confronted with someone who doesn’t see how a movement like “feminism” could possibly exist to do anything but subjugate men, be patient. Understand that they were are all raised in a society that promotes the gender binary, and explain why that isn’t right.
It’s true that feminism still faces many negative stereotypes, enough to frighten some celebrities of falling under the label, but these stereotypes and the idea that our sex dictates our lifestyle, will never vanish until we strive to show the world that feminism exists to benefit everyone of any race, sexuality or gender.