I love poetry – a lot. From Edgar Allan Poe to Rudy Francisco to my own work: I am surrounded by poetry almost constantly. A favorite poem of mine is called “February & my love is in another state” by José Olivarez. The name sums up the poem, as well as the struggle of a long-distance relationship really well in my opinion.
Whilst it may no longer be the month of love, and the world may no longer be covered in pink, for those of us who have to spend weeks or months away from our significant others, it is just as tricky year-round.
I have been in a long-distance relationship for two and a half years, but as a freshman, I have seen many of my friends struggling with that adjustment, so here are a few tips I’ve learned:
You Can Still Go On Dates (And You Should)
Don’t get me wrong, dinner dates, museum dates, evening walks, and movies are all phenomenal things to do with someone that you love. But if these aren’t options for you, you still have options. Here are some of my favorites!
- Google Maps Dates
- If you come from different cities, try to give them directions around your hometown.
- Drop a pin in a location you’d like to travel to together, and try to plan a trip based on what you can see
- Give hints as to where your pin is, and have them try to guess where in the world you are.
- Minecraft Dates
- Build a little house together – it helps with teamwork and communication and you get to be creative together.
- Play minigames on a preexisting server, you can work together or have some playful competition.
- Roblox Dates
- It may be a kids’ game, but I have found Roblox definitely has something for almost everyone. There is almost everything you can think of.
- “You are…” Dates
- Find songs, flowers, art pieces, colors, or really anything that reminds you of each other, it can be super straightforward or more abstract. (this is one of my favorites!!)
Communication Really IS That Important
If you’re in a long-distance relationship, I doubt you’re a stranger to everyone telling you how important communication is, but they’re absolutely right. Communication is the biggest part of all long-term relationships, but when there is a physical distance, communication is all that you have. So you have to be sure that even when conversations may be uncomfortable, you have them. People will be human, they will get upset or jealous, and they will struggle sometimes. That is natural and expected, but you have to find ways to be comfortable bringing those things up with one another and allowing for open conversations. I cannot begin to stress how important this is. If you’re thinking of bringing something up: do it.
Find What Works For You
Every person is different, and so is every relationship. What works for your friends may not work for you and that is okay. You can establish a unique way to check in with each other if that helps, you can schedule a “date day” once a week, or let it happen when it happens. So long as you and your partner are happy that is all that matters. Though it can sometimes help to see what works for other people and integrate that into your own relationship, be sure not to base your relationship on the ones that you see around you. There is no wrong way to do things so long as everyone involved is heard and valued.
In conclusion, you don’t get to choose who you love. Whether you live next door, 253 miles away in my case, or 2,000 miles away, you can always have a healthy and beneficial relationship no matter how close or far you may be. You just have to remember to give each other your time and understanding.