The sound of music echoes throughout the room.
Yeah I’m chillin down a dirt road
You’re curling up in bed under the covers wearing that sweatshirt that smells like him. And wearing those sweatpants he gave to you when you decided to spend the night.
Laid back swervin’ like I’m George Jones
The half empty Ben and Jerry’s set a top the bedside table, it’s no longer cold and its concentration dripping down the side of the pint container.
Smoke rollin’ out the window
You are listening to that song because it’s your guys’ song and you can’t seem to get the melody out of your head. Probably wishing that he didn’t share your love for country.
An ice cold beer sittin’ in the console
It’s the classic mood of heartbreak. We’ve all been through, scrolling through our phones trying to find where it all went wrong, what went wrong, questioning your actions and judgment. Blaming yourself, thinking that the fault is yours. Completely obsessed with trying to find the pieces to solve the puzzle: why doesn’t he love me?
It’s hard. But from heartbreak, we learn valuable lessons.
In the Lion King, Rakifi shares a valuable lesson with Simba. “Oh, yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it you can either run from it or learn from it.” Simba recognizes the statement and learns to return home. But whereas we are not returning home to fight our evil uncle to become king. Rakifi’s words of wisdom can be applied perfectly to the tough times of dealing with heartbreak. From every relationship: the good and the bad, we learn what exactly we are looking for in a partner: what we are willing to accept (a.k.a standards) and what can’t be tolerated (a.k.a deal breaker). We also learn more about finding the red flags: the moment that makes us pause and rethink the person we know. Red flags are not something to be ignored. But most importantly we learn that sharing our pain is the most helpful.
Friends, though most of us are not living in New York City running in between the two apartments that are across from each other. Sitting around the couch, listening to each other’s stories or mocking one another just for the heck of it. Friends (and of course our families) are the people we value most in our lives because they love us. They return our love, they don’t play games with our emotions and they are always there when we need them. When he wasn’t there for you, your friends were. When he didn’t want to go to that party or hang out at the coffeehouse. Your friends did! Friends provide comfort for us by just simply listening to our problems, our struggles of trying to figure out the complicated mechanism that is the male brain. Our friends allow us to cry into their shoulders; they let us vent out our anger and most importantly they help us move on. Which anyone knows can be the hardest part because the more you try to get over that person, the worse it is to get over them. Friends provided the right love we need in our lives.
Yes, people deserved to be loved. But he did not deserve the love you gave him. He wasn’t worthy of your love, because he doesn’t understand that receiving a person’s love is a very rare gift. Finding the right person who understands how rare your love is will truly be worthy of your time.
Stop telling yourself that the timing was off. The timing wasn’t off, he just wasn’t ready to commit and he never will. Stop trying to explain his actions. When a guy blocks you or when he doesn’t answer your texts. Don’t try to explain his character, because his actions aren’t redeemable. Actions always speak louder than words. Most important, stop telling yourself it was your fault. It wasn’t your fault, and the moment you recognize that there is nothing wrong with yourself to find that loving yourself is the most beautiful thing. Please stop telling yourself it is your fault because of the fact that he makes you even think that he is not the right person for you. Acknowledge that there is always someone better than Mr. Heartbreaker.
Life is like a wheel. It keeps moving forward, always turning and spinning. It is an endless wheel. The Broadway production of Hamilton, George Washington (Christopher Jackson) acknowledged the struggle of living with Alexander Hamilton (Lin-Manuel Miranda). Washington quoting, “Dying is easy, young man. Living is harder.” Life is hard. Life isn’t fair. Life doesn’t stop when he is no longer in your life. Life doesn’t halt and which is why you have to lace up your shoes and put one leg in front of the other. Life will always move forward which is why you need to keep moving forward as well.
There is one plus to going through heartbreak: glow up. If you haven’t seen the TikToks, watch them! Because you will find that girls go through a revival after the heartbreaker is no longer in your life. That is because girls no longer stay in bed waiting for him to text back or try to reason as to why he blocked you. No! Girls today are better than that. After heartbreak girls go to the gym and start working out. They started getting into healthy foods. Take late-night drives down dirt roads, blasting country music through the speakers. Using work to distract themselves from the hardships (heck the harder one work, the better the award) and finding a passion that is actually meaningful. Not a lot of people have a passion, so when you find one: it’s like finding your purpose in life. Some even use religion, prayer to help with heartbreak. Though it would be helpful if God could help with finding the right person or at least give a hint or maybe a warning.
Heartbreak isn’t easy, but it is valuable because important lessons can be learned from heartbreak. From those lessons, we grow into stronger, smarter, and sexier women. Capable of taking on any challenges and won’t let some guy drag us down.
All you need to say to your heartbreaker is one word… Goodbye.