Opinion piece:
At the ripe age of 17, taking that first shot of cheap, cherry vodka was liberating and actually easy. Walking across campus in a mini-skirt and heels to attend a party where I knew (maybe) one person was exciting. Talking to drunken strangers at parties whose names I’d probably forget on the long walk home felt oddly comforting. Going home and sleeping with a guy I had only previously met twice felt exhilarating.
At the later age of 21, taking shots is an impossible task without deforming my face in disgust. Walking across campus in heels is never a thought to cross my mind and secretly wearing yoga pants out is a truth I’m not entirely proud to admit. As I talk to drunken strangers, I politely nod—pretending to listen to what they’re saying and wondering why I came in the first place. And, going home with a guy I barely know is a recipe for an awkward disaster the next morning.
This is not to say I hate the social aspect of college and partying and hookups. No. I’m saying the past four years has been a time of realization and growth.
I’ve realized I don’t need alcohol to have fun. Lounging around in baggy pajamas while eating fattening cheese bread and watching re-runs of Modern Family with my roommates is a treat. Or, doing Pilates videos in our curtain-less living room at night because we’re too cheap to afford a gym membership is a bonding time I look forward to.
I’ve realized nobody cares. People don’t care what color shirt I wear to a party or if my hair is frizzy from the rain. I can wear yoga pants and a puffy coat. I can match my best friend in coordinating outfits and similar hairstyles. Nobody cares.
I’ve realized who my true friends are. That one girl who helped hold my hair back when I was probably a little too drunk that one time is not my friend. Those fifty, sweaty people cramped into a tiny, musty house probably don’t even know my name. In fact, I know they don’t. My friends don’t politely nod their heads as I speak—they listen and engage. They know more than just my Facebook credentials. They know my goals, aspirations and quirks. They know how to make me laugh and cry at the same time. They know me.
Lastly, I’ve realized I’d rather stay away from the messy, casual and confusing relationships that sometimes come from dating a college guy. I don’t want to be that girl who only receives texts containing an unenthusiastic “hey” at his own convenience. I want someone who will get breakfast with me on Saturday morning and pick my overactive brain on a rainy, Sunday afternoon. Cheesy, I know. But, I accept the fact I might not find that someone in college.
So, at the age of 21 and a short time left of college, I’m going to forever remember those fun nights in with my roommates. My real friends will still be by my side at my wedding and through my anticipated mid-life crisis. And, that certain someone who meets my expectations in a relationship is out there. College has given me so much more than a Bachelor’s degree and a never-ending pile of debt. It’s given me growth and perspective.