I finally understand why burning papers after finals is over is a student ritual. We’re simply fighting back. The exams burned us out first, so it’s our way of coming back and trying to burn what burned us. Our mind is connected to our physical body, so yeah, we feel the burn in our bodies, but we feel it in our brains too.
I want to talk about the burnout us college students feel, but I also want to talk about how we can use self-care as an antidote. Finals week is literally everything all at once, so most of us don’t have time for ourselves. We only have time to study and eat in five-minute intervals and then study again. If we want to see our friends, then we study with them. Or if we decide to hang out with our friends because our eyes literally can’t look at a textbook anymore, then we end up pulling an all-nighter and regretting socializing and having fun. Even if we make time for ourselves, it feels like a chore. Fun things are supposed to be spontaneous, they’re supposed to be free of stress, but nowadays it’s like we have to schedule in “me time” and “friend time.” Our friends have become like our professors and to meet with them we have to compare schedules.
How are we supposed to perform well on all these projects and exams if we need sleep and a clear mind to complete them, things that aren’t possible with the time given? Sometimes it feels like my professors design their class assuming they’re my only professor for the entire semester. It seems like they assign enough work for five classes. It’s a lot.
What I’ve come to realize is that life is changing and our circumstances are changing. We aren’t in elementary school anymore, and sadly we don’t get a recess. We have to make our own recess. It’s okay if it feels like you’re scheduling in time for yourself; it’s better than not leaving any time for yourself at all.
Yesterday was Sunday and I devoted the entire to alone time so that I could get to know myself better and try out different forms of self-care. Going into Sunday, my stress levels were over the roof. It wasn’t my school work specifically. For one of my classes, I’m an advocate for a youth in the juvenile system and it’s my job to be their mentor and focus on their strengths to help them accomplish goals. But I haven’t been able to meet with them because things keep coming up. I’m very understanding, they’re going through a lot, but this is the first time I have no reins in the situation at all. The requirement is that we meet six hours a week, but I haven’t been hitting that mark any week. When your mind starts stressing, it doesn’t stop. By the time Friday was over of that week, I had convinced myself I would make a bad therapist if I couldn’t even deal with this situation. I was in such a negative space, and the reason I said was is because what I did on Sunday really helped me, and I encourage you to try what I tried.
The first thing driving me crazy was that I was checking my phone waiting for responses. I’m a planner and the fact I hadn’t heard from the family was killing me. So I turned off my phone. I deleted social media for the day so I didn’t have distractions. I then first tried mindfulness meditation. I’ve always been a super tense person and haven’t been able to shut my mind off through relaxation. I got a little closer and while it still didn’t work for me, but the fact that I tried and was able to nap instead made me feel a little bit better. I also did some journaling and coloring to get my thoughts out. I watched a little TV, but I think the best activity I did was I recorded a voice memo for my future self and I went through 28 questions to ask about myself to see if I knew myself well enough to answer them deeply. Before I knew it, an hour had passed by and it made me feel so good that I knew myself. It led me to thinking about my future beyond school and my future with relationships and with things that aren’t even school-related. It made me step back and realize there’s more to my life than school.
There was a question that asked what I was grateful for and it made me think of all the little things that I always take for granted. Answering this, my negativity naturally went away; I’m the one who flushed it down the drain, me.
I also got my first-ever tattoo that marks my love for writing, the first love of my life. Getting a tattoo to some people may seem like the opposite of self-care but it was self-care to me. Self-care can mean something different for everybody.
I used to be the person that would say, “I really want to do self-care, I just don’t have time.” But then I asked myself why I put effort into other relationships and seem to care enough to put effort into their happiness? Why do I make time for others but not myself? And it was a game changer for me.
If finals week is wearing down on you like it was for me this past week, I urge you to take some time for yourself. If you think about it, you’re with you for life, not your professors. Sorry not sorry, professors, but my mental health means more to me than your class. It sounds mean, but it’s probably the most selfless thing I’ve ever said.