Â
Prior to my British travels, I had always been under the impression that the British in general were polite and reserved. What I did not expect, however, was how much this would get in the way of my flirting with British men. In the few months that I’ve been in the UK, I have discovered numerous components of the British (and larger European) dating system. As a disclaimer: yes, many of these discoveries are generalizations. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t more or less true.
I have never been more excited, yet frustrated, in my life than when dealing with British guys. Like many other straight, American girls, I immediately feel butterflies in my stomach whenever I hear a Brit boy’s accent. Add that accent to what seemed to be inherent politeness and I’m hooked. Normally, I am not the most obvious flirter; I like to drop subtle hints when I can. However, I quickly learned that with British guys, you have to be ridiculously obvious with your flirty feelings, and according to many of my British friends, this is standard procedure.
Generally, male Brits are raised to be extremely polite and gentlemanly towards all women. This becomes problematic, however, in two ways: first, you can never easily tell whether a Brit is really into you, or if they’re just being polite. Second, if they are into you, they will never be straightforward and let you know. This is mostly because being blunt about one’s feelings is not considered appropriate to the reserved, British gentleman. Even more so, British lads are easily intimidated by American girls. As many of my male European friends have acknowledged, American girls tend to be more confident in themselves and in what they want than more reserved European girls. While European guys tend to admire this confidence, they are simultaneously terrified by it.
On the whole, the accents and demeanor of British guys are pretty hard for me to resist. However, I’ve started to find that the reserved and overly-shy qualities of British (and European) guys has become too high-maintenance for me. If nothing else, I guess I could take their intimidation as a complement- a testament to my self-confidence.