In light of the recent Hunger Games Renaissance that has been sweeping TikTok and all major social media platforms, I’ve decided to finally attempt to answer one of mankind’s most elusive questions, right up there alongside the meaning of life: which Muppet would win the Hunger Games? While these ragtag found family members all bring their own unique qualities to the table, there are definitely some which would fare better than others, and I have ranked each “tribute” from least to most likely to win. Read below to see who comes out on top as the victor!
18) Statler and Waldorf—these two fall at the bottom since, as the Muppet Show’s infamous spectators, they wouldn’t be in the Games at all but would probably be heckling and watching all the chaos unfold from the safety of a television screen in the Capitol.
17) Rowlf—Rowlf seems way too down-to-earth and easy-going to actually kill anyone, and he probably wouldn’t even realize he was in the Hunger Games because he’d just be too busy napping and vibing on his piano.
16) Fozzie—Everyone’s favorite comedian bear, Fozzie is so disassociated from reality that he could probably kill someone and convince himself it was part of a joke, but ultimately he is just too fun-loving and sweet for me to picture him ever hurting another human being/Muppet.
15) Walter—Walter seems like too much of a team player to ever dream of turning on his friends (especially fellow Muppets, seeing as they are his childhood idols), but his crazy whistle skills could be useful in sonically destroying the ear drums of his opponents and/or potentially blasting them off the face of the earth.
14) Kermit—I really just can’t imagine Kermit laying a finger on anyone, and I feel like he is just so pure of a soul that he’d only be focused on making sure his allies survive at the expense of himself. He’d definitely sacrifice himself if it meant his friends could live. However, Muppets Treasure Island shows he is a pretty great swordsman, so if he can manage to put aside his morals, he could probably be a decent threat. Plus, if anyone was threatening Piggy I’m sure he’d rainbow connect you right where it hurts.
13) Scooter—Scooter probably wouldn’t be able to put up much of a physical fight, but as the brains of the Muppets, his strategic mind could likely get him pretty far. Plus he is always under tons of stress as essentially the mastermind running the Muppet Show, so who knows what could happen when he finally snaps.
12) Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem—I’m lumping the band members together because they would totally be allies (and they would be protected by Animal until he inevitably turns on them). While they definitely give a stoner, dazed and confused kind of vibe and don’t really have any skills beyond playing music, they could use their loud rock and roll sound as an effective distraction in a fight. Plus they have strength in numbers.
11) Rizzo—While his small stature and crippling fear of heights might put him at a disadvantage, Rizzo definitely knows how to take care of his own given the fact that he grew up with 1,724 brothers and sisters on the streets of Jersey. He would also have the protection of Gonzo, since they are an inseparable team. Ultimately, though, Rizzo definitely excels more at making sardonic comments on the action rather than actually being a part of it, so I would say his threat level is pretty low.
10) Sam—Although he seems generally harmless, his patriotism and pro-America values mean he definitely stormed the capital and therefore would be willing to do whatever it takes to defend the honor of his “district,” so I wouldn’t count him out.
9) Pepe—I feel like Pepe would do what it takes to survive, plus he has four arms, so more appendages to punch with. However, his small size will definitely work against him, but could also make it easier for him to hide. Also, since he is a king prawn, he is suited to a number of different terrains, and that aquatic adaptability means he could hide from other tributes underwater.
7) Swedish Chef—Being a chef, you know he already has crazy knife skills, and his knowledge of food means he could probably find nifty ways to poison other tributes. Plus, his assist in kidnapping Jack Black in The Muppets (2011) shows he can put up a pretty good fight on his own. While his goofy, non-serious nature could be a detriment in a high-stakes environment, his gibberish language means none of us really know what he is capable of or if he has a potential dark side that he could unleash in the arena.
6) Gonzo—Gonzo quite literally always has something up his sleeve, and as a daredevil, he would definitely be willing to do whatever it takes to survive. He is also incredibly hardy, having been nearly blown up so many times, so he’d bounce back from any injury. He could probably call on his alien brethren to abduct anyone who tries to attack him too. Ultimately, his best assets would be the element of surprise and also simply outlasting the other tributes with his incredible durability.
8) Crazy Harry—This man is clearly a menace to everyone around him and seemingly has no conscience. What with his shtick being to always try and blow everything up, he would honestly be in his element in the arena and could probably rig up something really deadly with the podium mines, like the careers do in the first Hunger Games film.
5) Bunsen and Beake—Bunsen very much gives Beetee vibes, so he would likely also spend the games lying low only to pull off some crazy science-related explosion or disaster that takes out all the other tributes. Beaker is included here because they are kind of a package deal, but Bunsen would definitely sacrifice him when it comes down to it.
4) Sweetums—While he is very much a gentle giant, this man could definitely trample anyone in his path when it comes down to it, so his size advantage gives him a strong leg-up in the competition.
3) Animal—Animal could tear you up, no doubt about it. He is, however, only third because his propensity for blind rage means he doesn’t have much strategic thinking, and that hotheadedness would probably lead to unnecessary recklessness. I’m not sure how well he would survive without his other bandmates to balance him out, but he would definitely win in any fight he got himself into.
2) Constantine—as the world’s most dangerous frog, of course Constantine would have no problem in the arena. A master of plotting, demolitions, and a breakout from one of the most well-guarded prisons in the world, there’s no doubt he could survive, and his ability to fool the Muppets by disguising as Kermit means he could make many allies if he needed to.
1) Miss Piggy—Honestly, is this even a competition? Not only would she be able to charm anyone into allying with her with her good looks and charisma, but her kung-fu skills and self-preserving drive means she can easily take care of her own and turn on her allies in a split second when she needs to. Miss Piggy is an ambitious woman who knows what she wants and will do what it takes to get it, so she would totally not hesitate to resort to violence and get the “job” done. The Jack Black scene in The Muppets (2011) says it all. While Constantine is on par with her in most ways, the final fight scene in Muppets: Most Wanted proves that, when it comes to brute force, she triumphs over even his criminal mastermind as the strongest contender of all the Muppets.
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