There are those who enjoy watching a romantic comedy every now, and then there are those who are obsessed. You know the kind of people I’m talking about. The ones whose ideal Saturday night consists of staying in watching sappy love movies with a bottle of wine, and, depending on their mood, crying that this isn’t their life or wishing that someday it will be. Those are the romcom-obsessed and they will always wish their lives could live up to the impossible life as depicted in the movies. It’s more than just the romance part that is impossible; it’s pretty much the entire movie. I am one of these aforementioned people (without shame) and I struggle with these problems. But despite all the issues that come with loving romcoms, I will never give up my Saturday night rituals.
1. Falling in Love
I am not ashamed to admit that I am madly in love with a myriad of romantic comedies best leading men. There’s Noah Calhoun of “The Notebook”, who fell for a girl and simply wouldn’t take no for an answer (in a non-creepy and totally heartfelt way). We also have Graham of ‘The Holiday’, whose favorite girls were not other women, but in fact, his two adorable daughters. And last but far from least, Kevin Doyle, of “27 Dresses”, who really isn’t a cynic but a man in need of love. Now don’t get me wrong, I really do enjoy falling for these fictional characters, but they are just that, fictional.
Falling for these men can never lead me anywhere. They won’t take me out to dinner, meet my friends, and someday marry me. So in the end, as fun as it is, it’s time and energy that perhaps would be better spent on a real man.
2. Expectations
No one in real life can ever be that perfect because perfection does not exist. The men in these movies are created to be the perfect guy and then played by incredibly attractive actors. Realistically, I know this, but it is still disappointing each time I have to face the fact that no one is going to hold a boom box up to my window.
Odds are: I will not be chased down for a date, followed across the world or have someone write to me each day for 365 days because some man is hopelessly in love with me. These movies I love so much have created my dream man to be someone fictional and that is heartbreaking.
Don’t get me wrong, I have met some great guys but the greatness can be difficult to appreciate when the standard is an incredibly romantic, caring, sweet and fictional, man. There are real guys who are wonderful, but they’re not romantic comedy wonderful. They send cute texts, call when they say they will and genuinely care about you. But will they fight for you even though they know you’re engaged to someone else? Probably not.
3. Mind-Reading
It seems as though in movies, the guy someone just knows when his lady needs something. She’s having a rough day? There he is with ice cream, his amazing body and, of course, a bottle of vodka. She didn’t have to tell him she was sad, he just knew. He, like all ideal men, possess some secret special power that allows them to sense when their woman is upset. Not only can they tell when she is hurting, but they also know exactly what she needs to feel better.
This makes the idea of having to actually tell people when you need something feel like a letdown. Sometimes, I have found myself wishing that whomever I was with at the time could just tell when I needed them. Unfortunately, this always just ends up with me feeling silly for thinking some guy could ever know what I wanted without me telling him.
4. The Adorable Best Friend
Movie best friends never seem to be busy. They are pretty much just sitting around waiting for their best friend to call them, or even better, they just show up at their house. They, like the boyfriend, also have mind-reading abilities. They can sense when their best friend is down and are always available to make her feel better. This can happen in one of two ways, both of which are amazing.
The first is when the friend shows up at the door in cutesy pajamas with some strong alcohol, a movie, and chocolate and says something along the lines of “tell me everything.” This is typically followed by a musical compilation of scenes in which the two friends laugh, drink and just have an incredible girls night. The second option is when the friend once again shows up at the door using her mind-reading powers, holding a stunning dress and saying something like “we are going out.” This is then followed with music and scenes of the friends looking hot on a dance floor somewhere, also with large quantities of alcohol.
Now, I don’t know about you but my friends cannot read minds. In addition to this, they have their own lives. As great as my girls are, they can’t drop everything they have going on to take me out when something goes wrong in my life. If all my friends did this every time shit hit the fan in another friend’s life, we would always be drunk. Still, it would be nice if friends were around whenever you were hurting. It would also be nice to live in some alternate universe where chocolate and alcohol don’t mess with the impeccable body all leading ladies seem to have, but beggars can’t be choosers.
5. Changing the Bad Boy
We all know these movies. The one where the girl falls for a guy who she knows is bad news. She knows he is a player, that he cannot commit and that he is just trouble waiting to happen. All her friends tell her so. Still, she just knows he is different. After a few emotional scenes with dramatic music where the girl swears she is done with him, he realizes she is all he ever wanted and changes. Sure, he was against monogamy before, but that was when he didn’t know her. He didn’t realize how incredibly deep and interesting she was. Once he finds out, he is all for a relationship and turns out to be the perfect, completely faithful boyfriend.
This though is never the case, it is not possible to change people. If and when they change, it is because they wanted to. Going into a relationship with the idea that the person can be changed or will realize the error in his ways because of some fabulous woman is never a good plan. Again, as women, we know this. We are smart. We totally understand that this is an awful way to get involved with someone, but it doesn’t make the reality of it any less difficult to face.