It’s finally Saturday. A day for freedom, relaxation, and most importantly, coordinating an outfit for your friend’s party. You walk into her apartment and you feel sexy and confident. You find yourself sitting on the couch next to your crush. You’ve eyed him at the gym, pretended not to look in his direction at the library, and fantasized about kissing him. You start to sweat. Your libido rises. He whispers in your ear, “Would you want to take this to my place?” You don’t want to admit the one truth that you’ve kept to yourself.
You are still a virgin.
In health class and “talks” given by your parents, you were reminded that sex can come with consequences. You decline the offer and walk home with your friends. The next morning, you discover that your crush brought one of your friends home to his place. You think to yourself, “He’s forgotten me.” That leads to the inevitable question: Should I have just done it?
It may feel like a race to find that one person who holds the key. Students around you seem to be experiencing this “magical” moment almost every weekend, and you don’t want to be excluded from the “club”. You may be surprised, however, to learn that not every college student is having sex. In a 2015 Cosmopolitan article written by Prachi Gupta, she discussed research done on the sexual culture of college campuses. Seven hundred students completed the survey, and the results were surprising. Statistics revealed that over forty-one percent of women and forty-seven percent of men were currently not sexually active. (http://www.cosmopolitan.com/politics/news/a47924/college-virgin-poll/). And, almost forty percent revealed they’d NEVER HAD SEX. If you think that’s jaw-dropping, Gupta also revealed in her article that students experienced the sensation of love more than sexual pleasure. She further explains in her article “Overall, 73 percent of students reported having been in love at least once”. (http://www.cosmopolitan.com/politics/news/a47924/college-virgin-poll/) There is hope to find that special someone in your life, and you don’t need to force yourself in an uncomfortable position to do it.
Now what about apps such as Tinder that seem to glorify the hookup culture? I will admit I was once on Tinder; I believed my true love was one swipe away. Over a hundred million people have downloaded Tinder on their phones .(https://expandedramblings.com/index.php/tinder-statistics/). If you think Tinder is a safe and easy method of connecting with someone prepare to delete the app after this major revelation. According to a 2016 article by the NY Post, Syphilis has been reintroduced to the millennial generation due to dating sites such as Tinder. They explained that dating apps, including Tinder, increase the risk of obtaining STDs. In the article the author writes, “The problem with casual, anonymous sex via apps is twofold: You’re more likely to catch something…and you’re less likely to inform your former partners if you find out you have something”. (http://nypost.com/2016/10/29/tinder-might-be-to-blame-for-rise-in-syphilis-among-millennials/).Just imagine discovering that your first sexual partner, after asking if he had been tested for diseases, lied to you so you could sleep with him. And even if your partner wears a condom, or you are on birth control, you are still risking your body for the entrance of diseases.
Although these facts may seem like something out of a horror movie, I recommend for anyone who is ready to have sex to do it safely. If you have any dire questions about sex, talk to your gynecologist, doctor, therapist. While I have personally chosen not to have sex until I’m with the right partner, I believe it is your choice as to whether or not you are ready for sex. If you are still not ready to say goodbye to your virginity, that is perfectly normal too. Remember, you have one body, so make sure you are taking care of it. Never let anyone try to take something away from you to “please” or “pleasure” them.