It’s the most wonderful time of the semester that we’ve all been looking forward to for the past three and a half months…finals week. Nothing says end of the semester like chugging down four cups of coffee, divorcing yourself from your bed, crying profusely over upcoming deadlines, and bags under your eyes that would challenge an English bulldog. Everything becomes such a blur, and all you want to do is go home. To celebrate the “most wonderful time of the year” here are the ten stages of finals that are all too relatable.
Finals are Assigned
Your stomach bulges in pain as your professor switches subjects to the topic of finals. Prayers are sent to the Finals Gods that the workload won’t be too overwhelming. The Finals Gods haven’t responded, nor do they plan to make life easier.
Planning Ahead
Now that the professors have gone over the layout for finals week; it’s time to organize. What’s this? Did Professor [insert name here] just assign a literary quiz for next Tuesday?! Time to plan out your life again.
Calculating Your Grades Based on Every Possible Scenario
The only time math actually matters in your life. Plus, you don’t want your cap and gown to go to waste. You’ve been looking up designs for your cap on Pinterest since the beginning of the year.
Spending Too Much Money on Coffee
Sleep has become a thing of the past. It’s time to upgrade the study game, and get everything and anything that contains some form of caffeine. Secretly, you are broke AF. But, how else can one finish up fifty pages of a textbook that they didn’t have a chance to read over the semester?
Researching on Web MD How Many Energy Drinks Can KILL You
Are these heart palpitations being caused by an anxiety attack, or that berry flavored Monster Energy drink? Oh well. Let’s crack open another one. I’m pulling an all-nighter.
Mistaking Procrastination for Study Breaks
After studying two hours for one class and typing up the introduction for another paper, a reward is due for the amount of effort you have dedicated. You promise yourself you’d only watch one episode of Friends, or go off campus for ten minutes to buy a Starbucks holiday drink. One episode turns into a one season binge, and you end up flirting with the barista for an extra fifteen minutes. P.S. Your paper is due at midnight.
Venting
How dare the biology professor not hand out the study guide for the final until the very last minute! It’s time to find that one close friend (or few) to rant to about that professor, and their teaching methods.
Acceptance
After crying in your room the past four hours after the realization that you are unprepared for finals; you come to the realization that you’ve done your best. You don’t want to admit it. However, there’s nothing more you can do. It’s time to just let nature take its course (no pun intended).
Taking the Exam/Submitting the Paper/Giving the Presentation
As Effie Trinket famously said in the Hunger Games, “May the odds be ever in your favor.” Trust that you’ve done all the preparation you can and that you are ready.
SLEEP! HEAVENLY SLEEP!
F*ck alarms! You deserve to be left in peace without your conscious reminding you to do work. Just beware of the impending nightmares about not having finished your exams!
Good luck with finals everyone!