The human mind and heart,in an excellent warfare, with thousands of nerves and signals try to make you feel emotions and make you think, wonder and have different epiphanies about us, humans.
But what happens when the world sinks into silence?
What happens to this perfectly lit warfare?
Does it end at peace or does it start battling on its own?
Through years, society has always formed this miserable, pitiful perception towards loners and solitude. When in reality, being left alone, either by life or by one’s own choice, can be a chance for one of the greatest self-rediscovery.
“Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.
― Arthur C. Clarke
Coming from someone who has also been struck by the waves of loneliness at a very early age, one thing I can assure you is that it does get better. For most of my life, I felt lonely in crowds, I always felt that I would never fit in, as if something was wrong with me. As I started growing up and learning through experiences, I started loving my own company more. I enjoyed sitting alone with my thoughts; I had slowly accepted that not everyone has to be ‘my person’ and some socially bad experience does not imply that something is wrong with me or with the person in front of me. So the next time, a wave of loneliness hit me, I tried surfing through it.
I made myself my own bestfriend throughout the journey.
I discovered that my peace lies in solitude.
Solitude offers the best gift of the universe, one’s own mind, and experiences; it forces you to learn about how you think, how you feel and act the way you do. It helps you become your own lover in the most beautiful way. It offers the path to be alone but not lonely.
But what does it mean to be alone but not lonely?
It means to shift your perspective about being lonely, finding peace in your own company and enjoying solitude while you have it.
“Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone and Solitude expresses the glory of being alone.
– Paul Tillich
We live in a generation where the ‘Loneliness epidemic’ exists as a health concern for individuals by WHO, where isolation starts affecting one’s mental, physical and emotional wellbeing.
Loneliness is a universal emotion, still so complex and still so misunderstood. It’s unique to every individual going through it. It does not always mean being physically alone, but rather feeling alone emotionally . It is involuntary, comes like a wave and hits you as it comes, and eventually leads to self isolation which can then follow with serious mental health issues.
Solitude on the other hand is voluntary. It’s the slow feeling you get when you give yourself the headspace and the love you know you needed. While loneliness can break you down, solitude can help you rise up stronger than ever.
While it is a long pratice and it does take time for one to cope up with feeling lonely and practicing solitude, here are some tips that might help:
- Avoid comparison: The first and foremost step to really being your own friend is to avoid comparing yourself, or your life, to others. I know, it’s easier said than done, but comparison kills happiness as well as your ability to be your true self.
- Let your mind wander: Sit completely idle for a while. Provide zero distraction for mind and sit with yourself in silence. As someone who has done this personally in my life, it works wonders.
- Have a solo date: Ever found going out or putting just yourself out in the world kind of intimidating or scary? Well, initially it does feel weird, but you can start by doing little things, like going to get coffee at a cute cafe, getting flowers for yourself, attending different workshops, such as dance, zumba or anything that suits your personality the best.
- Find a creative let-out: Loneliness is a deep emotion that hits you like a thunderstorm. Coping and healing is a long process, but taking small little baby steps towards it can really help you in loving the journey better. So, start trying new creative outlooks that might help your emotions in a healthier and peaceful way. You can try reading, writing, art, dance or any creative practice which helps you best!
- Practice meditation: Integrating meditation in your daily life can help you in the long run. Meditation helps you release stress and in regulating your emotions better. Initially, you can start by doing daily 5-minute meditations. Here’s a guided meditation that might help you as a beginner https://youtu.be/pB_qUY1dPrs?si=sIHFCUxiCFXuWUU7.
Applying these tips can help leading an emotionally healthier life.
Shifting perspectives about being alone can help anyone in the long run. If we can put so much love and kindness outwards, we can also provide it inwards.
Making yourself your own bestfriend (and lover!) can help you surf through waves of loneliness, and give way to self appreciation. We’re all beautiful humans after all.
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