Just Buy Yourself the Damn Gift

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus

This article has been written by a student from the Her Campus at MUJ chapter

How often have you stopped yourself from doing something that would’ve genuinely made you happy? It probably felt ‘unnecessary’ or you thought you’d do it after completing a certain task or achieving a particular goal. It could be the solo coffee date, buying that new outfit or even just a day full of rest without any guilt but we keep putting it off saying “Maybe later……when I am done with this task………..when I have achieved this goal” Here’s the thing, self-love shouldn’t have to be earned and all we need to do is to just buy the damn gift for ourselves.

THE concept OF ‘DESERVING’ SELF-LOVE

We grew up with the idea that rewards have to be earned. It starts from childhood. Finished your homework? You can watch T.V. Scored a good grade? Here’s your reward. Behave well and you’ll get a treat. Completed all your assignments? You can finally take a break now. It seems harmless at first but in the long run, it reinforces the idea that we deserve good things only after we have proved ourselves. It’s a vicious cycle of DO DESERVE RECEIVE. Eventually, we internalize this idea “I get a gift only when I have achieved my goals, I get rest only when I complete all my tasks. I will get good things only if I prove I am worthy of them.” That’s not how it should be. Rest isn’t lazy. Joy isn’t a distraction from productivity. Comfort shouldn’t be a privilege you earn. They are all just basic human needs. It is how our bodies recharge and continue to show up for us to accomplish our dreams. They fuel our creativity and keep up our spirits to continue being productive. You don’t need a reason to put yourself first and definitely don’t need to prove anything before choosing yourself.

THE GUILT OF BEING SELFISH

You owe yourself the love that you so freely give to others

Even if you finally take the day off to sleep in, it might not always be this peaceful, fairytale moment. You might spend half of it worrying about what you should have been doing. You finally buy that outfit, that long-awaited book or just a cheat meal and your mind immediately goes “Was it really necessary though”. This voice is our inner critic speaking, and it’s been conditioned to push our needs aside until we believe we are worthy to fulfil them. Most of us have grown up seeing our parents not rest until everything gets done. Our teachers appreciated being burnt out and stressed under the disguise of hard work. We have always been taught that productivity brings value to our lives. We were fed the lie that rest is the devil’s work, comfort means you are not working hard enough, and burnout was treated like some badge of honor. What is exhausting is that this guilt is not a passing emotion—it’s a constant noise that exists as background static in our minds, a voice that won’t stop nagging. So yeah, whenever we try to do something for ourselves before ‘accomplishing’ something first, the guilt might still linger but we don’t need to let it drive us. Let it sit in the backseat and choose happiness anyway. We deserve love without any conditions, and we have to be the first ones to give it to ourselves.

BREAKING THE PATTERN

We are on a constant chase, ticking things off our long list of things to do before we do something nice for ourselves. It’s a loop we’ve been conditioned into— where we constantly chase milestones hoping to become ‘worthy’ of something good. Just as we finish one task the next one is waiting for us. So we delay gratification. We push through exhaustion, keep hustling and over-performing, only to realise that there’s still more to do. That’s the pattern most of us are stuck in. So somewhere along the way we confuse deprivation with discipline. The real rebellion is when we break the cause-effect logic we’ve been handed. It means choosing comfort in the middle of chaos— not only at the end of a perfect day. It happens when we stop second guessing every time we give ourselves a break instead of working towards achieving that goal. It happens when we start viewing rewards, rest and calm not as finishing lines but as part of the process.

So, what is it you’ve been putting off waiting for the perfect opportunity, the right time or a worthy version of yourself? Just go and do it. Happiness isn’t always a distant goal, five steps away. It’s right here, in the small, ordinary, chaotic moments. Give yourself the gift of self-love not because you earned it but because you are a human that matters and that itself is reason enough. That guilt? Let it fade into the background and no longer be the main character. Do something joyful just because it brings you joy — not because you ticked off every box. So go buy yourself flowers on a random Tuesday, eat the cake for no reason, and sleep in without any second thoughts. You don’t need permission. You just need to stop postponing and start receiving the love you always deserved.

Find more ideas on self-love go to wellness articles at Her Campus. For more such interesting reads visit my page and Her Campus at MUJ page.

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