Someone once confidently told me how Asians are his “type”, as Asian girls are just so exotic. It still baffles me how the sexualization of ethnicity can be thought of or excused as simply a “preference” or being a person’s “type”. The line between having a preference and having a fetish is so blurred as we are blinded by the normalization of hyper-sexualizing Asian women.
I think it is time we stop viewing Asian cultures and Asian women as objects to satisfy sexual desires. Being called “exotic” or picking out someone’s ethnic features for praise isn’t a compliment; neither is it pleasant. In contrast to having a preference, fetishization is “the act of making a person an object of sexual desire solely based on some aspect of their identity”. Therefore, viewing Asian women sexually only because of their physical attributes or stereotypes of their race, is sexual objectification and a fetish. It is not only degrading, but also completely disregards their individuality and disrespects their entire ethnic culture.
Hypersexualisation: then and now
Let’s get to the root of things. Stemmed from the days of colonialism and slavery, the glorified idea of having ownership over someone and to view a race beneath you is where the hypersexualisation of Asian women stems from. Originating from the white supremacist patriarchy and viewing people as something to conquer, such a mentality unfortunately still pervades today’s society. Though it may seem to be toned down, the idea behind Asian women being an exotic fantasy is a form of internalized patriarchy, where you think women of colour are reserved to only serving certain purposes like satisfying sexual desires or to be shown off as a trophy, a decorative accessory to add colour to your outfit.
We should acknowledge how modern-day media has perpetuated these cliches surrounding Asian women. Be it in traditional media, like film, or social media, stereotypes surrounding Asian women continue to be promoted.
I am sure you are familiar with the typical scene of female leads in film using Asian traditional wear as a tool for seduction, or the portrayal of typical Asian women stereotypes as being docile, submissive, and quiet, having this idealized Geisha-like image. In taking in these images of women portrayed as a sexual object clothed and surrounded by her ethnic culture, we are subconsciously influenced into viewing her and her culture to be something sexual. Instead of appreciating the rich culture for its unique values, people and history, it is being degraded to nothing more but a sexual feature. Especially in this digital age, being constantly surrounded by the media forces us to grow up with these hypersexualised images of Asian women, which negatively shapes the way generations perceive racial and gender differences.
Preference or fetish?
I am not saying you can’t have a preference. Of course we all have our preferences, but it is about understanding the difference between being attracted to a woman who happens to be Asian versus being attracted to her just because she is Asian. An example of an actual preference can be preferring someone taller than you, or preferring to date a person older than you. However, when you say your preference is Asian women, what do you actually mean by it? Is it based on the perceived image that you have of all Asian women? That takes the assumption that all Asian women behave in accordance to her racial stereotypes. Yet everyone is different, and there is no unifying characteristic of any race. Hence, by saying you only want to date Asian women, you’re actually perpetuating the cookie cutter image society has created to generalise them. Now, do you see where the difference lies between having an actual preference, and indulging in the cliches of one’s race?
Taking race out of the equation – steps moving forward
Yes, it is hard to recognise how your “preference” may actually be an internalised fetishization of a race, but analysing our own way of thinking is a step towards eradicating the hypersexualised image weighing on Asian women. Being aware of how you are perceiving others, especially in a sexual context, helps prevent yourself from objectifying someone. Using words like “docile”, “submissive” etc., to describe an Asian woman you just met does not add points to your book.
It is also important to remember that even within an ethnic group or in an Asian society like Singapore, Asian fetishization can still take place. Within our community of colour, the hyper-sexualisation of Asian women can take the form of glorification of specific Asian features and the discrimination and shaming of traits and behaviours outside of “typical” Asian women e.g. the glorification of petiteness or obedience.
To those of you reading this that have been on the unfortunate end of having your ethnicity fetishised, I am sorry you had to go through that. It is only when we change the mindsets of people that overlook our individuality, or think it is ok to sexualise an ethnic group, that we can eradicate the abhorrent act of fetishising Asian women. Nonetheless, as Asian women, we still hold power to change our own sexual narratives.
A step towards obliterating the hypersexualised image imposed on Asian women is to call out those that add on to the fetishization. No matter how trivial they claim their statements to be, do not be afraid to call them out. The next time someone tells you “wow I love how exotic you look”, ask them, “What’s truly exotic about me?” And watch them stumble to explain. Also, know that you are not alone: platforms such as reddit (e.g. r/AskWomen) and twitter are good communities to seek support and bond through shared experiences with fellow Asian women. Nevertheless, don’t be hesitant to seize the opportunity to educate others, and seek out platforms for open conversations to create awareness.