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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at NCAT chapter.

Hey girl! Are you a big sister? If so, I bet I can name 10 qualities about you.

  1. You are a natural born leader.
  2. You have been called the “mom” of the friend group.
  3. You have a protective personality. 
  4. (One of) your love languages is “acts of service.” 
  5. You like to have control over situations. 
  6. You are often told you give good advice. 
  7. You are ambitious and like to take on challenges. 
  8. You are very empathetic and often put yourself in others’ shoes. 
  9. You are very independent and persistent when it comes to tackling obstacles.
  10. You have unconditional love for your younger siblings.

Did I get at least 7 of these right? If not, oops, sorry, girl! If I did get at least 7 of these qualities right, it’s because I’m a big sister of one younger brother and I share these same qualities. 

Over the years, I have noticed that being the first born daughter in a family causes similar character traits over time. We all know the theme of “daughters have to grow up fast,” and “daughters have natural maternal instincts,” but with first born daughters, these qualities are extremely heightened. As being the oldest daughter, most times, it is put on you to take care of the younger siblings, and figure things out, and ultimately being very responsible.

I have seen these qualities in myself and other big sisters in other dynamics outside of the family. Not to be stereotypical, but in friendships, I have seen a lot of big(gest) sisters in this being described as the “mom”: of their friend groups, responsible for roles like booking reservations for trips, planning the hang outs, and their favorite lines are “text me when you get home,” and “let me know if you need anything.” You are always willing to lend a hand, and be the therapist of the group.

In relationships, you consistently gravitate toward people who you see the potential in. However, you love it when they do acts of service for you. you love when you cater to their inner child, by taking care of the small things but mean so much. And secretly, you love it when they say, “No, I got it” and you can get into your submissive era.

In professional/educational spaces, you are very organized. You are a good planner, and often take the lead in groups projects or professional activities. You typically take on leadership roles on campus and when challenged, you are sometimes taken aback as you are uneasy when you are not in control. 

Nya Evans, a junior Engineering student at North Carolina A&T State University commented on what she has learned and gained from her experience with being an older sister and how her lessons have affected the way she carries herself.

“Being the older sister has taught me deep empathy, as I’ve often had to understand and respond to my siblings’ needs, even when they couldn’t fully express themselves. I’m always the one looking out for others, making sure my friends and family feel supported and cared for,” she said. “This role gave me a strong sense of responsibility, making me someone that people rely on both in personal and professional settings. I’ve learned to resolve conflicts with compassion, trying to see things from every side and helping others feel heard.”

Ever since your little siblings were born, you began taking on responsibilities and roles of always protecting her/him/them. But my question is who is giving you advice? Who is protecting you? And most importantly, who is making your life easier? 

With all that being said, I hope you know that you are worthy, and you will not be able to control everything and everyone around you. Be accepting, and know that everything will be okay. I challenge you to continue to surround yourself with people who cater to that little girl that was so busy taking care of her sibling(s) that she forgot about herself. You will always be a big sister, but remember to celebrate yourself, set boundaries, and be open to change. 

You got this, sis!

Kamryn M Jackson is a second year Honors Journalism & Mass Communications student at North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University. She is a dedicated and driven student, striving to to gain experience in the fields of Mass Communication, Mass Media, Marketing and Journalism, with the ultimate goal of becoming a communications professional expert.