Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
Wellness > Mental Health

Roommate Survival Guide: How to Handle Conflicts Gracefully

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at NCAT chapter.

Living with a roommate is a staple part of the college experience. Whether your roommate becomes your best friend or simply a living mate, conflicts are bound to arise. Learning how to navigate these situations with grace can help maintain a peaceful living environment. Here are five key steps to handle roommate conflicts effectively:

1. Create a Roommate Agreement

It is very important to set up an initial meeting with your roommate to establish a foundation of clear communication from the beginning. Discuss each other’s expectations around cleanliness, noise, and company to avoid misunderstandings. If an issue arises, address it as soon as possible rather than letting the tension grow.

Try This: Don’t be afraid to express your feelings in an appropriate manner. Try using “I” statements, like “I feel stressed when the kitchen is messy,” to get your point across.

2. Set Boundaries and Respect Personal Space

Sharing a space with anyone can be difficult if there are no regulations on how the space will be used. Clearly define personal and shared spaces, as well as boundaries regarding belongings. This respect for each other’s personal space fosters trust and reduces the possibility of conflict and provides a mutual understanding of each others’ needs.

Try This: Agree on guidelines for shared areas, such as cleaning schedules or quiet hours, to ensure both roommates feel comfortable.

3. Compromise and Collaborate

Living with a roommate requires compromise. Work together on decisions related to common areas, cleaning duties, and shared supplies. This communication helps create an environment where both roommates feel valued.

Try This: Consider a shared agreement or a list of house rules that both of you contribute to, so everyone has a say.

4. Stay Calm and Take Breaks

In the event that a conflict does arise, take a step back before addressing the issue. It’s important to keep emotions in check, especially with someone you have to live with. If a conversation becomes heated, suggest a short break to cool down and gather your thoughts. Seeking someone else’s perspective may also be beneficial to determine if there was any mistakes on your part.

Try This: Practice relaxation techniques, like deep breathing or taking a short walk, before revisiting the conversation with a clearer mindset.

5. Seek Assistance if Needed

If conflicts persist and you can’t seem to reach a resolution, don’t hesitate to seek outside help. There are many on campus resources available to help in situations like these. Your RA, Counseling Services, or even a neutral peer can provide mediation and help facilitate a solution-based discussion.

Try This: Approach mediation as a way to find common ground, rather than someone winning or losing the argument.
Conflicts are a natural part of living with a roommate, but by following these five steps you can navigate disagreements gracefully and create a peaceful living situation. With patience and respect, you can enjoy your time together and build a great bond with your roommate!

Jyanne Guide is an honors sophomore Multimedia Journalism student with a minor in Political Science at North Carolina A&T State University. She is committed to advancing social justice through multimedia journalism, equity-focused research, and civic engagement. Her passions and future career goals consist of informing and empowering communities. Jyanne aims to achieve this goal by bridging the gap between politics, social justice, and everyday life to ensure that underrepresented voices are heard and their stories are told.