It’s my senior year, and my future feels like it’s speeding toward me. I’m set to graduate this December 2024, but right now, I have no idea what I’ll be doing or where I’ll end up after graduation. Honestly, it’s terrifying. Senior year is supposed to be full of “lasts” and celebrations as college comes to a close, but for me, it’s been the most stressful year yet. Applying to what feels like a million jobs, staying up late to prepare for interviews, going through interviews, only to be rejected by companies I thought I interviewed well with, is definitely the hardest part of senior year.
It seems like everyone is constantly asking, “Do you know what you’re doing after graduation?” or “Do you have a job lined up yet?” It’s tough not having an answer for them, but what’s worse is not having an answer for myself. I’ve always been someone who likes to plan, someone who thinks about the future, and right now, not having a plan is scary. For all I know, I could end up in the middle of nowhere with a job, and I’d just have to deal with it. I’ve never felt more lost with myself.
This uncertainty for my future takes me back to high school, when I dreamed of going to NC State to study computer science. I was so scared that I wouldn’t get in. It’s an amazing school for my major, and being close to home made it even more important to me. I remember the day I was about to open my decision letter. I was crying so hard beforehand because I didn’t know what would happen. Would I get to stay close to home, or would I have to go somewhere else? Was I going to have to go to my #2 choice instead of my #1? But when I finally opened that decision letter, tears of joy filled my eyes as I saw the very first word: “Congratulations!” It was an incredible experience, and in that moment, all the stress and hard work of the past three years felt worth it. I know not everyone got their #1 choice for college, but everyone ended up where they were meant to be, and that’s okay. Everyone has a different path in life. Now, I find myself in a similar situation with full-time jobs, hoping for the same good news.
I actually waited to write this article until I had a week where I felt extremely overwhelmed, so I could let out my emotions. I rarely ever share how I feel to others, but the anxiety and fear have led me to spiral into thinking about every worst-case scenario. “What if I don’t get a job?” “What if I move somewhere where I don’t know anybody?” Sometimes, I have to remind myself to breathe and trust that things will be okay, just like they always have been. It feels especially overwhelming because, up until now, everyone’s been on the same page. We all went through elementary, middle, and high school together, and then applied to college at the same time. But now, it’s about finding jobs, and not all of us are landing one right away. It’s nerve-wracking and can be mentally exhausting.
For me, the phrase “everything happens for a reason” is holding me together right now. When I apply to jobs and face rejection, or when an interview doesn’t work out, I remind myself that A) I need to work harder for the next opportunity, and B) maybe that job wasn’t meant for me. As excited as I am for my post grad life, it sucks not having a job lined up yet, especially in this crazy job market, but I have to believe that everything will work out. It always does, right?