My “spontaneous reaction” to when I was told my best friend kissed the guy that I liked

I am actually a big fan of romance myself.

Monica and Chandler, from Friends?

Finn and Rachel, from Glee?

Shrek and Fiona, from Shrek?

Anthony and Kate, from the Bridgerton series?

Ron and Hermione, from Harry Potter?

Count me in. I love to watch them on the big screen. I like to read about them in the original books. 

However, this is not a romantic story. Neither from the beginning nor towards the end.

It all started when I decided to tell my best friend at the time (who I am going to call Lucy for the sake of animosity) that I was feeling something towards one of our classmates and friends (who will be called Tom in this story). Being the person I am, I could not keep this information to myself, so of course I told Lucy about it. I remember making plans with her so we could create situations in which I could get closer to him since they were kind of what you could call “close friends”. Without a previous announcement, Lucy decided to go ahead and share the “information” regarding my feelings to one of our closest friends at that time (please, allow me to introduce “Brendan” to this story as well). Through texts, Lucy and Brendan would talk about Tom and how they could make ourselves be closer to each other.

Long story short, for some reason Tom decided to go through Lucy’s phone (I don’t even know why) and was able to read all of the texts that Lucy and Brendan exchanged, which of course allowed Brendan to realize that I was feeling something for him (I would say that “feel something” is very light- for me, it felt like I was deeply in love with him, even though I was not at all). 

So yes, the guy that I liked at the time found out about my feelings because he, for some unknown reason, was able to get to Lucy’s phone and read all of the conversations between her and Brendan. That I myself was not even aware as well.

You may be wondering how I fit into this story, and when I will show up.

Well, of course, Tom did not like me back. We were not close friends, and I think he thought was super weird for me to tell my friends (well, one friend) that I liked him and not tell himself. In summary, he decided to ignore me for a couple of weeks. We saw each other daily, but we were not talking to each other. At all.

Now, you may be wondering about my “spontaneous reaction”.

Months later, the tension had been alleviated, and now, Tom, Lucy, Brendan, me, and everyone else were living our lives normally, as friends. Lucy even threw a party and invited all of our close friends, but unfortunately, I had other plans (which I can’t remember now). The thing is that I could not attend due to a schedule conflict.

Monday comes, and as we are in school going to our lunch break, one of our other friends came up to me and asked me how I was feeling and dealing with all of the situation. Now, you might be thinking: what situation was she referring to?

I did not know either, but for whatever reason, I have decided to play along and pretend I knew what was going on. I was surprised that I did not ask her what was she talking about. Later on, she finally spilled out the news. Lucy and Tom have kissed each other on that party I was not able to attend. I continued the conversation like I was cool with that. However, in fact I was not.

This is an accurate demonstration of what the inside of my brain was looking like in that moment.

It wasn’t just the fact that I liked him. At that point, everyone knew it, but there was nothing for me to do because he did not like me back. I could not make me like him just because I wanted to. 

The reason why I was so upset is that my best friend – and the only person I ultimately told about my feelings for him – had done something like that. I trusted my deep secrets on her and, even though I had never expected her to go behind my back and kiss the guy that I liked, she did it.

What happened next? I heard our friends in common tell me I should respect them because they had feelings for each other and I should not be in their way.

Spoiler: they did not have romantic feelings towards each other. 

The outcome of this whole real-life experience? We all continued to be friends, and Lucy was my best friend for a couple of years after that, too. Currently, we do not talk anymore and live very far from each other but, honestly, I miss her. I recognize this story was hard to handle that year, but now I reflect on how small my “biggest problem” was during that time. Poor Elisa- I wish adult Elisa could have told you not to insist on boys who do not like you back. 

• best friend
• Experiences
• friendships
• high school