SPARE Me the Details: Why I’m Not Buying What Prince Harry is Selling

TW: Mentions of Suicide

For anyone who has been living under a rock, the past few months have been all about Prince Harry and Meghan Markle and their revelations against the royal family. After their explosive interview with Oprah in 2021, there wasn’t much left that I thought they could (or needed) to say, but boy was I wrong. In the past year, the two have each respectively released a podcast, Netflix docuseries, and memoir, and conducted multiple interviews with news stations telling “their story” which seems to have been told ten times over at this point. 

Before I fully dive into my discussions on the Sussexes, I feel the need to clarify a few things. First, YES, I know the monarchy is outdated. It is full of formalities and traditions that Americans are simply unaccustomed to, and many believe it should be abolished. The idea of a monarchy always fascinated me and in 2011, I woke up at 4:00 am when I was just seven years old to watch Kate Middleton (now Princess Kate) marry Prince William. As a young American girl, I thought it was enchanting that there were real-life princes and princesses, and it felt like something straight out of a fairytale. When Meghan Markle was introduced into the family, I was ecstatic. I had always loved Prince Harry and wanted him to get married, and I thought Meghan was the perfect match for him. I had ZERO problems with her and thought she was lovely. I also thought it was cool that an American would be marrying into the royal family, something I had dreamed about ever since I was a little girl. I woke up at 4:00 am for their wedding as well and quickly became obsessed with the Fab Four. 

Then in early 2020, it was announced that Harry and Meghan would be stepping down as senior family members so they could focus on their own families and living a more private life. As sad as I was to see them go, I understood why. It is very hard to live as a royal as the world seems to think that their personal business is their business, not to mention the blatant racism that Markle had to face in the tabloids. Tabloids have ALWAYS been filled with garbage so I am not sure why anyone would believe anything that is said by them. There were nasty rumors about Meghan, but what people seem to forget is there were also nasty rumors about Kate, and even Harry and William have felt the brunt of these exploitative papers. Their mother, the late Princess Diana, was hounded to death by paparazzi so the family is very familiar with the damage that those “bloodsuckers” can cause. 

Unfortunately, my love for Harry and Meghan has dwindled recently as they continue to spill personal details about their family. I have noticed a lot of things while listening and reading about what the couple has had to say and in my honest opinion, they aren’t making themselves look good at all. I understand what they are trying to do as they are trying to clear their names of any negative press that has been published in the past, as well as giving an inside look at what royal life is really like, but for me, it is just not coming off the way that they want it to. 

Inconsistencies

Throughout consuming all of the media I could find relating to Harry and Meghan, there were a few inconsistencies I found that stuck out to me. The biggest one for me was during the initial Oprah interview, Meghan stated that there was a point during her first pregnancy when she contemplated suicide due to the stress of the hate that was being spewed at her. She confided this to Harry to which he said he had no clue what to do for her and how to get her help and claimed that the family gave him no way to get her this. However, in his book, he discusses a physical argument between him and his brother where William shoved him which resulted in Harry needing to go to see his therapist more frequently. This incident was in 2019…the same year that Markle was pregnant. If Harry had a therapist, why couldn’t he let his suicidal wife see his therapist or find one for her? There certainly could be more information behind the scenes that answers this question, but I find it very hard to believe that Harry was unable to get his pregnant wife any professional help to deal with her very scary and serious thoughts. 

Another inconsistency is when Markle said she had no help learning the royal rules when she joined the family. I don’t fault her for this at all because how is an American supposed to know the rules of the British royal family? I place the blame solely on Harry here. How do you not help your soon-to-be wife transition into this tough and traditional family? She claims there was no help for her, which I would assume includes her husband who had been royal for almost three and a half decades at that point. This is poor on his part, as he should have made sure he had prepared her for the sharp transition that was to follow. 

Another inconsistency is the fact that all along, he has said that the family was not welcoming to Markle. Still, then Harry claims that William and Kate were massive fans of her show Suits and were worried that they would ask for her autograph and bombard her with questions, so why would they all of a sudden switch up and be cold to her for no reason? Another rebuttal to this argument is if they were so unwelcoming, why did Meghan say that the late Queen Elizabeth was, in fact, welcoming to her and even shared a blanket with her at an event while she was cold, which Meghan found touching, not to mention King Charles walked her down the aisle after her father did not show up to the wedding. It just doesn’t add up. 

The last inconsistency that I want to point out is the comment that Markle made about the colors that she was allowed to wear. She claimed that you were not allowed to wear the same color to an event as a higher-ranked member of the family. For example, if the Queen was wearing yellow and Kate was wearing pink, Meghan would not be allowed to wear either one of those colors. She said that she would stick to colors such as ‘camel’ and ‘beige’ which she assumed no one in the family would wear. This statement was later debunked as dozens upon dozens of photos emerged of members in the family wearing the same colors as higher-ranked members, which disprove her statement. I personally think this was a mere analogy that she made to further emphasize the notion that the family was dimming her color, and once she was out, she was finally able to shine. 

Distasteful 

This leads me to the plethora of distasteful actions and statements I noticed while researching. The first one that gets me is their documentary, the main focus was to tell their story and have people feel bad and pity them for what they went through, which is how most celebrity documentaries go. The two claimed they were cut off from the family and had no money left, yet they are sitting in their multi-million dollar mansion on a couch with an Hermès blanket draped over the back, which retails for $1625. And I am supposed to feel bad for you because you say you were cut off? To me, that was incredibly distasteful, yes, I know it is just a blanket, but there are real people in the world that are struggling financially, and you are living in Beverly Hills complaining about finances. Even if the family did cut him off, I PROMISE you, they would never leave Harry to fend for himself on the street like he is claiming they would.

Returning to his book Spare, Harry went for the jugular when it came to his brother. When talking about William, Harry revealed many personal and intimate details that I cannot imagine ever sharing about another person (let alone my own brother) to anyone else (let alone to the entire world to read).  It is undeniable that Harry has experienced unimaginable trauma throughout his life, with his mother dying when he was only twelve and then constantly being referred to as the “spare” and compared to his brother (who one day will be king). Still, he made sure that his jealousy was showing in his book–whether it was intentional or not. One of the biggest online discussions about the royal family is how William is balding. It is a funny yet true joke because by looking at pictures, it is extremely obvious that William has gone bald, something that Harry is currently going through, which he obviously is not too pleased about. He discussed how his brother’s balding was “alarming” to him and that it was “more advanced than he was.” This is such a childish comment to make, and I am confused as to why this specific detail needed to be included in his memoir. William has always been the child that looked like Diana, something that must have enraged Harry as he hit completely below the belt and said that William no “longer looked Diana” and that his looks have “faded.” I was shocked when I read this because it is such an immature and whiney thing to say. It is something so simple that he really did not need to discuss it. He is happy that no one can say that William looks like Diana, something never said about him. 

The final distasteful thing that I want to discuss is something that happened between both couples. According to Harry, during the wedding planning for his and Meghan’s wedding in 2018, Kate was pregnant with her third child, Prince Louis. During all of the commotion of planning the wedding, Meghan commented on Kate saying that she had “baby brain due to all of her hormones.” This comment offended Kate and William called Meghan rude to her face. I have to say, saying that to someone while pregnant is rude, and I can completely understand why William felt the need to defend his wife. I don’t think that this makes Meghan a bully or a mean individual, but it is a simple rude comment that was made and was rightfully reprimanded. I don’t understand why Harry can defend his wife against Kate and William, but when William protects his wife against something Meghan says, there is an issue. I also find it ironic that Meghan currently has a podcast called Archetypes on Spotify, where she discusses stereotypes and words that are placed on women that are untrue and unfair, and how damaging stereotyping can be. 

Accusatory 

Harry’s biggest accusation in his book was regarding one of the biggest scandals he was a part of. In 2005 at a Halloween party, Harry was caught dressing up as a Nazi. This created a media firestorm and outrage, and people worldwide could not believe that he would dress as something so offensive and heinous. However, Harry now claims that it was not his choice to wear the costume but that William and Kate made him wear it. Mind you; this was a twenty-year-old man who chose to put on the costume and go to the party. William and Kate did not hold him down and force him to put it on. He says that it was HIS IDEA and that they found it funny when he told them. If that is indeed true, then shame on both of them for finding the costume funny, but the fact that Harry has now spun this story in an attempt to take the blame off of him is incredibly immature and shows that he is still a childish little boy who cannot take responsibility for his own actions and feels the need to deflect them unto others. 

As I mentioned, there is tons of information that I have excluded from this as there is so much to cover. The most ludicrous thing that Harry said was that he wants to reconcile with his brother and father. I do not understand how Harry is dumb enough to think that they would want to continue having a relationship with him after he has publicly humiliated them, trashed them, and shared personal details about them that have no business ever being public. I think his saying he wants to reconcile a calculated move to make the family look bad if they choose not to.

 I understand that Harry and Meghan wanted freedom, and that is what they got, and I was happy for them that they could live their lives in peace. There was no need to drag the family down with them, no matter how much they hated them. It is just ironic that the family they claim to hate is the only thing people are interested in hearing them talk about. They are also their only source of income, and it is not even coming from the family themselves; it is from exploitation. The couple was paid $100 million for the Netflix docuseries, and Harry was paid $20 million for his memoir. I just hope the two of them can truly find happiness and a life that does not involve constantly bashing the family because there really is not much more they can say. There are rumors about both the Waleses and the Sussexes that I did not discuss because they are RUMORS. Just because a tabloid said that William cheats on Kate or that Meghan made Kate cry, that does not mean that is true, and EVERYONE should take what is said with a grain of salt. 

“if you like me you don’t have to hate her and if you like her you don’t have to hate me.”

–Meghan Markle to Oprah

It truly breaks my heart to see Harry and William’s relationship crumble to pieces. And no matter how many times Harry says that his mother would be proud of him, I hope he realizes that she may be proud that he is standing up for himself but the damage that it has caused between him and his brother and their respective wives is something that Diana never would have stood for. As Meghan stated in the Oprah interview, “if you like me you don’t have to hate her and if you like her you don’t have to hate me.” At the end of the day, they are just notable figures and we should not be this invested in their personal family drama and they should not be so invested in sharing it. Now I know what I said may be considered “controversial,” but I not trying for it to be. I wanted to call out things that I noticed and discuss them because lots of things have been said. There are a lot of issues with the royal family, and they may just be better off having the monarchy abolished, but every family has problems; they just don’t need to be broadcast for the whole world to know about….do it behind closed doors.

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