TW: SA
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800-656-4673
Remember when you were a kid and you had to sleep with a night light on? Those nights when you were convinced there was a monster lurking in the darkness of your closet? When you had your parents check under your bed before you could go to sleep? What if I told you those monsters were real and have been lurking amongst humanity all along? I recall my parents always warning me of stranger danger as a kid but I never really knew what they were referencing because I was too busy caring about playing with my dolls or drawing with chalk on the pavement. When you grow older, you begin to realize what makes a stranger or even someone you think you know, particularly dangerous and that’s when the world starts to feel more dark.
Recently, I’ve been feeling nostalgic and reminiscent about my childhood. I’m going to be turning 20 in April and I feel a deep longing for my childhood as it is starting to become further and further away. Although there are many things to love about growing older and wiser, I miss being that young, innocent person who saw the world in technicolor. As many of you may know, there was a documentary titled Quiet On Set that was released on HBOMax on March 18. This documentary details the dark side of children’s TV and reveals the awful things that went on behind the scenes of some of my favorite TV shows growing up.
As a criminology major, I am very interested in true crime and will get hyper-fixated on a specific case for weeks at a time. Usually, when I learn about an interesting case, I will do a huge deep dive into the specific details and will constantly be thinking about it. I think that I am a very empathetic person so when I hear about the awful things committed against someone, I can feel the victims’ pain and hurt to my very core. I feel so much for a stranger; something I consider to be a gift and also a curse sometimes.
Someone from this documentary who has caused me to shed many tears is Drake Bell, most known for his role in Nickelodeon’s Drake & Josh; one of my favorite shows as a kid. After watching him discuss the awful sexual abuse he endured while being a child actor on Nickelodeon, I felt the deepest pain and hurt that made me feel ill. It’s sad to think about that I was just an innocent kid at the time, watching those shows and laughing at the jokes. We were all blind to the fact that those kids were stripped of their innocence when the cameras were off and had to plaster on a smile for the screen. It is sickening knowing how Bell and so many other child actors sacrificed their childhoods to make a memorable childhood for thousands of people. It has been known for years that Hollywood is filled with many sick people but when it comes to light exactly who has been a monster behind closed doors for so long, it feels like a betrayal.
Bell stated that finally talking about his experience has been very freeing and relieving. Although healing is not linear, I’m glad he felt confident and encouraged to share his story because it can be very scary to speak up. I hope his courage brings hope and comfort to other victims and finally brings justice to all the other child stars who were hurt. Stories like this remind me of why I want to pursue a career in forensics and investigation; because I want to be able to bring justice for victims. I’m glad the disgusting truth behind Nickelodeon is coming out and I hope the victims can finally heal properly.
So, yes, the ghosts and monsters I feared as a kid were not a figment of my imagination. They have just transformed from literal monsters to humans who choose to hurt others. Now, as I am about to enter a new decade of my life, I know how cruel and scary the world can be. The Quiet On Set documentary has changed my perspective on the shows I grew up watching but I won’t let it ruin the happy memories I created while watching those shows.
If you ever need help, please consult the hotline I provided above.