In just two weeks, I’ll turn 21. There’s this sudden realization that I’m a “real” adult, and yet, I’m still trying to figure out what that even means. Beyond the obvious legal perks, it’s funny to think that 21 is the last “big” birthday to look forward to. After this birthday, no age-related milestones are waiting to greet me, which feels like a blessing and a bit of a crisis all at once. Is this the end of my party years? Is it all taxes and forty-hour work weeks from here? It’s as though this milestone is asking, “Alright girl, what’s next?”
Between the imposter syndrome creeping in and this sudden lack of direction in my major, there’s a strange sense of urgency in the air. Here I am, a junior in college, nowhere closer to finding out my future than I was as a junior in high school. I realize that all the little decisions I’m making now might very well actually matter for my future. Scary, right? Yet, amidst the chaos and breakdowns, I’m feeling unexpectedly optimistic as I write this. Maybe it’s because I just recently rewatched Sex and the City or the fact that my friends and I just booked a Christmas girls trip to NYC. Whatever it is, I’ve come to believe that even with all the uncertainty, the world truly is our oyster.
Being an upperclassman has taught me that love, heartbreak, and friendships are all part of this journey. I’ve learned to embrace the messiness of it all – the excitement of falling in love, the inevitable heartbreaks, and the thrill of getting back up and starting all over again. It’s the people I surround myself with who keep me grounded. I’m lucky to live with amazing friends in an old house, study abroad next summer, foster a crazy puppy, and occasionally mess up. It’s all part of learning who I am and who I want to be.
We’re all in this panic phase together, and that’s okay. Take it one day at a time, embrace the mess, and remember that there is so much good stuff waiting for us mixed in with the unknown. Life is unpredictable, but that is what makes it exhilarating. I get to travel, live in new cities, and connect with people from all walks of life. So here’s to facing the unknown head-on – 21 and ready to face whatever comes my way.