Scrolling through Netflix or the aisles of the nearest movie rental shop on your one night off that you A) don’t have homework to do and B) don’t have to bother waking up early for morning classes? While the prospect of a free night in college is enough to lift any student’s spirits, it can be incredibly frustrating if you can’t decide which film to binge watch. The clock is ticking, and your eyelids are drooping. If you don’t decide soon, you may end up falling asleep early and wasting your open-ended evening in the realm of your unconscious mind.
Now, virtually every student is well-aware of which Hogwarts House they would be sorted into if the Sorting Hat were placed upon their heads. With such distinct personality traits between each of the Houses comes equally distinct tastes in things or films they might enjoy. This following list of films is to help any Hufflepuffs, Slytherins, Ravenclaws, or Gryffindors out there who are in a similar predicament as described above, or for those who are just bored!
Hufflepuff
“You might belong in Hufflepuff, where they are just and loyal. Those patient Hufflepuffs are true and unafraid of toil.”
If you like Romance movies: SERENDIPITY (2001)
One of the sweetest films of all time, Serendipity equally sickens audiences and makes them want a romance “like that” for themselves. Hufflepuffs are certain to appreciate the poeticism that branches out from the clichés in this romantic comedy.
If you like Horror movies: THE SHINING (1980)
The Shining has a reputation as one of the greatest horror films of all time, while still not relying on cheesy (yet terrifying – let’s be real here) jump scares to conjure up most of the screams from audiences. This film won’t give a kind-hearted Hufflepuff a heart attack, but will still give them some street cred.
If you like Action movies: NATIONAL TREASURE (2004)
National Treasure is nothing too gory (hardly any gunshots are sounded at any point in the film), but it brings out the adventurous side of Hufflepuffs while incorporating history into the film. The movie contains messages of honor and the importance of staying true to your personal beliefs throughout the film.
If you like Comedies: AUSTIN POWERS: INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTETRY (1997)
Argue all you want, but Austin Powers is a Hufflepuff. Peace, Love, and Make Love, as I’m sure Austin would say.
Ravenclaw
“Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw, if you’ve a ready mind. Where those of wit and learning, will always find their kind.”
If you like Romance movies: SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK (2012)
Quite possibly the most smartly-written romantic comedy of this century, if not ever, Silver Linings Playbook mixes drama, romance, and comedy seamlessly into a perfect potion of cinematography that Ravenclaws will definitely appreciate.
If you like Horror movies: SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (1991)
The criminal psychology behind Silence of the Lambs keeps Ravenclaws at the edge of their seats as they mentally diagnose the legendary serial killer Hannibal Lecter while the fictional psychologists within the film do the same. In the end, Hannibal is just Hannibal, and this film is likely to make you sit back and think as the credits roll.
If you like Action movies: INCEPTION (2012)
It’s Inception. Need I say more?
If you like Comedies: BEING JOHN MALKOVICH (1999)
This film shouldn’t exist, but somehow does, and it is hilarious, if not also a little loopy. It’ll leave you thinking, “Huh? What did I just watch?” True Ravenclaws will appreciate its sharp, twisted wit and find it up-to-par with their own sense of humor.
Gryffindor
“You might belong in Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart. Their daring, nerve, and chivalry set Gryffindors apart.”
If you like Romance movies: SAFETY NOT GUARANTEED (2012)
Gryffindors, with their brave hearts, are natural-born adventurers. This indie romantic comedy emphasizes the feeling of suspense that leads up to a fantastic adventure.
If you like Horror movies: THE SAW FRANCHISE (2004 – 2010)
A not-so-typical horror movie, the serial killer Jigsaw relies on his victims themselves to do all of the actual homicidal dirty work. The bravery it takes to cut off one’s own limb or the loyalty to others that Jigsaw seeks to instill unto his victims in his own twisted way are, oddly enough, reminiscent of the classic Gryffindor.
If you like Action movies: TAKEN (2008)
Chivalry and nerve are definitely prominent in this film’s main character, Bryan Mills, whose daughter is kidnapped while abroad. This causes him to go on a manhunt to find her and bring her home safely – even if that means a death toll of his own is created in the process.
If you like Comedies: MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL (1975)
Adventure is at the heart of this cult classic that most people hold close to their hearts, especially those who hold traits of the Gryffindor House. The British comedic charm in this film leaves it easily described as “so stupid that it’s hilarious.” There’s a reason this isn’t Ravenclaw’s top pick for comedy.
Slytherin
“Or perhaps in Slytherin, you’ll make your real friends. Those cunning folk use any means to achieve their ends.”
If you like Romance movies: EASY A (2010)
Slytherins are notorious for sticking their heads (and sometimes their noses) up high, refusing to let their egos be tarnished by those who want to bring them down. In this film, Olive Penderghast fuels the rumors that aimed to tarnish her reputation, turning the high school drama into a unique, empowering personal movement.
If you like Horror movies: AMERICAN PSYCHO (2000)
Wall Street millionaire by day, psychopathic serial killer by night, Patrick Bateman’s reasoning behind his killings is to stand out from his fellow white-collar colleagues, making him the ultimate cold-blooded Slytherin.
If you like Action movies: SUICIDE SQUAD (2016)
As cliché as this pick sounds, there is no doubt that every member of DC’s Suicide Squad would be sorted into the Slytherin House upon admittance to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
If you like Comedies: ARTHUR (2011)
Arthur Bach, portrayed by English comedic Russell Brand, is a spoiled heir to a vast fortune who – let’s be honest – is every Slytherin’s ultimate dream if their success-seeking plans go their way.