Raised in a world of rom-coms and romance novels, it’s no wonder Gen Z has become utterly obsessed with relationships. For many young people, relationships are something that is generally sought after. Personally, one of the first things I did upon moving to New York City was contemplate downloading dating apps. It wasn’t until one of my friends and suitemates showed me the type of people she was finding on dating sites that I finally caved and decided to give them a try.
Since then, I’ve found myself in a constant loop of installing and uninstalling a dating app not even two days later. Too many creeps, bad texters, and people that I just didn’t click with. It’s weird, I feel some sort of pressure that I know isn’t actually realistic to find someone I genuinely like. One of my friends met her current girlfriend on a dating app, and they have a very healthy and loving relationship. Unfortunately, that’s not how it usually goes. Typically, we swipe left on people we don’t immediately find attractive or interesting enough (that is, if we even bother to scroll down their profile). If we find someone attractive, cool, or interesting, we swipe right on them and hope for a match. But how much can we really even trust these potential partners?
According to the New York Post, New Yorkers are among the most dishonest dating app users, scoring a 3.4 out of 10 on the dishonesty scale compared to the U.S. national average of 5.1 out of 10. Furthermore, in a study of 3,000 people conducted by DatingAdvice.com, users revealed startling stats: 32% of the participants weren’t actually single, and 30% admitted to lying about their age. This is alarming — the odds aren’t looking so good for those who are genuinely interested in finding a partner. The most concerning part is the likelihood that someone you’re talking to is cheating on their current partner, and you could be completely unaware of it.
So why do people, especially New Yorkers, lie so much on their dating profiles? It’s not just important things like height, age, and relationship status. People have also admitted to lying about their education level, place of residence or employment, and even hobbies. The hobbies and interests categories on these apps are pretty broad: everything from travel to voguing. What’s wrong with having a niche hobby? In fact, I find that many people prefer someone a little quirky rather than someone with more conventional interests. Unique hobbies are something to be embraced, and it makes no sense to lie about what you’re interested in as a potential partner.
What about the actual dates? If you’re lucky, maybe you’ll get a coffee or dinner invitation. Maybe you’ll hit it off, but unfortunately, the more likely scenarios that I’ve heard is that they looked completely different from their profile, they’re weird, or you just don’t mesh well. Dating is all about trial and error. Shouldn’t we explore both our online and in-person options? Unfortunately, dating apps don’t seem to be effective for most people.
So what’s the solution to all this? Honestly, I don’t know. Between academics and everyday chaos, it can be hard to date. I’m not saying that I’m going to delete the apps once and for all and be done with it — who knows what could happen. They are still quite alive and bustling. What I am saying is that we should embrace meeting people organically. New York City is full of fun events and things to do. Just look at a lamppost — there’s probably some brightly colored flyer tapped on advertising speed dating. I have literally seen an ad for queer line dancing (it sounds like a blast). There’s always other places to meet new people. Dating apps or no dating apps, in New York City, there truly are plenty of fish in the sea.