Losing a loved one is never easy, and for years I always tried to prepare myself for it. However, I really don’t believe any amount of preparation can full prepare you for such a loss – I know for certain I wasn’t.
When I first found out my grandfather passed away this past month, it was a reality that did not exactly seem real to me at the time. Perhaps, it’s the fact that I found out through social media or perhaps it’s the fact that I wasn’t there to say goodbye, but at that very moment in time, I did not want to believe it.
I fly very frequently, but flying back home that day was one of the most surreal flying experiences I have ever faced. Even harder was coming home to a house filled with sadness and a family struggling with the same emotions and thoughts as me.
Sitting at the funeral mass was even harder but it was when I saw his casket being lowered into the earth when I finally realized I would never see this beautiful human being again, and that really hurt.
My grandfather (known dearly as my Abuelo), was a man that impacted the lives of so many people and I think it’s safe to say that many admired him. How could you not? Whenever I start to think how hard life is, all I need to do is remember the legacy of my Abuelo to realize that my struggles are menial and I can overcome them (he certainly overcame his).
As much as my parents drive me insane at times, I realize more than ever how lucky I am to have them. My dear Abuelo did not have parents to nag him about grades or his chores because they both died when he was very young. Whenever I want to complain about something trivial in my life, all I need to do is remember how my Abuelo snuck onto a bus at age 14 to try and make a better life for himself. Who am I to complain about things being impossible when this man struggled so much during his lifetime?
This is a man who spent months away from his family in Mexico, tending to the crops in various harvests throughout the United States and making very little but still managing to save money to buy his children quality toys for Christmas. This is a man who despite being illiterate, worked and worked on his writing and learning English. This is a man who stood up for others and lead a strike in the 1970s in pursuit of better working conditions for steel workers in the border area. This is a man who, despite speaking very little English and only having a second-grade education, met with various officials to include Spanish monolingual citizens into New Mexico juries. But most importantly, this is a man who despite all his hardships and hard work, always found a reason to smile and enjoy life. And this man is one who loved his family dearly, and it wasn’t hard to tell how much pride he had toward his family.
One of the most beautiful things I remember my Abuelo telling me was that one of his greatest accomplishments was that all five of his children went to college and all five of them all had successful jobs. You see, with my Abuelo, a man who only attended school up until the second grade, education was extremely important to him. Very often when I would come to visit, how my classes were going and what grades I received were a common topic between him and I. Though he won’t be here to see me graduate, I can imagine how proud he would be of me for finishing school and my various accomplishments during my time at New Mexico State University.
Though my Abuelo is no longer with me, I will forever carry the many beautiful memories I have of him and the wisdom he shared.
I hope one day I can be at least half of the person he was, and I will continue to strive to be exactly that. In about three weeks, I will officially be done with my bachelors and ready to hit the “adult” world and as scary as it is, I know I will survive. Though it may be hard at first, hard work always leads to success as I learned with my Abuelo. I am ready to face any hardship that comes my way and I will succeed. I will do everything I possibly can to live life as he did – with a smile, courageousness and determination.
Photo 1 by Dominic Silva
Photo 2 Courtesy of the Teixeira family