Rich Wilkins is your typical nerd, and is proud of it. He’s anti-social, loves to play Magic, binge watches anime and studies Chemical Engineering.
Originally from Boston, he managed to find the “Land of Entrapment,” where, he’s been happily trapped for five years now.
Although Wilkins has found some of his best friends here (that would maybe cover for him in a murder, or maybe just run away) and loves his New Mexico life, it hasn’t been an easy ride.
For most of his life, Wilkins has suffered through depression. It was undiagnosed until three years ago when he began experiencing anxiety brought on by a breakup. However, ending his long-term relationship wasn’t the only reason he felt this way. Wilkins admits that his struggles are mainly due to his conflicting internal feelings. In other words, the person he wants to be isn’t the person he is and dealing with that is very hard.
“Three or so years ago I seriously contemplated killing myself,” Wilkins said. “I did a lot of songwriting afterwards, and it helped a lot.”
In the midst of everything, he managed to find a creative outlet to help him cope—singing and song writing. He posts videos of his songs on Facebook that he describes as being “very anxiety induced,” and writes a small description of what they are about. Not only has it helped him manage his daily struggles of living with anxiety and depression, but it has also helped his Facebook audience with their own struggles.
“You very quickly find out that a lot of other people are feeling the same as you. I very frequently get messages saying, ‘Thanks for saying that. I feel the same,’” Wilkins said.
While songwriting has immensely helped Rich, his friends have also offered support throughout his journey. He describes a time when his friends put themselves in his position and thought of what would be the best thing to do for him instead of feeling sorry for him.
“There was a time where I didn’t leave my room for a week or so, and I would just eat junk food in my room. And one of my buddies he showed up in my dorm room because I wasn’t showing up to class. He didn’t leave until I came to eat with him. He refused. He stood there and I was like ‘I’m not going to go,’ but he wouldn’t leave. So I came to eat with him and I HATED every minute of it. I hated it. I was super anxious. I hated being out in public. It was horrible. And I look back on it and it was so pivotal. After I was alone for a while I was like, ‘Wow! He really did care,’ Wilkins said.
Although not everyone realizes it, many people are affected by depression. According to the American Psychological Association, about one-third of U.S. college students had difficulty functioning in the last 12 months due to depression. In addition to that, more that 30 percent of students who seek services for mental health issues report that they have seriously considered attempting suicide at some point in their lives, according to the APA.
Richie offers a word of advice for anyone that can relate to his experiences.
“Accept the way that you’re feeling because it’s real, and it’s what you’re living in at the time. It’s not being ashamed of being anxious and seeking out the resources. Only being honest with yourself will you be able to fix it,” Wilkins said. “I would highly suggest not going everywhere for support, but finding maybe one or two people that can be relied on for constant support. It’s definitively what happened for me and it’s really awesome.”