Life isn’t always easy when your sister lives on the other side of the country.
1. Mocking her over the phone is never as satisfying as it is in person.
If only I could see your reaction…
2. You can’t eavesdrop on her personal life, so you resort to social media stalking.
I merely want to know where you went last weekend, who you were with, what boys you like, everything you said and did, and how many breaths you took.
3. Whenever you complain about the East Coast snowmageddon, you have to listen to her whine about the West Coast heat.
Oh, you “wish you were here” for this historic snow? That’s hilarious.
4. There’s rarely a convenient time to talk on the phone, so passive aggressive voicemails become the norm.
Are you screening my calls or are you really always busy?
5. Your text conversations are plagued by a three-hour lag time.
I understand that it’s 6 AM where you are, but it would be really awesome if you could respond to my existential crisis IMMEDIATELY.
6. You don’t understand her regional slang.
Could you repeat that in English, please?
7. She’ll never send you the pictures that accompany her funny stories for fear you’ll use them as blackmail some day (and you totally would).
Guess I’ll have to wait until summer to see that embarrassing photo of you…
8. Receiving calls from relatives turns into a competition over who’s missed the most.
Oh, Grandma called you today? She hasn’t called me in three weeks, but that’s cool.
9. One of you will always be the last to hear the latest family gossip.
Life was so much simpler when news reached us at the same time.
10. Your clothing options are drastically reduced with her wardrobe hundreds of miles away.
But you can borrow any of the clothes she left behind without her ever knowing…
11. You’ve met few, if any, of her new friends and can never keep them straight.
Please remind me to Facebook stalk them later so that I may put a face to the name.
12. Holidays can be lonely when she doesn’t make it home.
Can’t wait to be the sole object of my parent’s attention…
13. You can’t watch TV together.
If you’re always three episodes behind me, we’re never going to have anything significant to talk about.
14. You get insanely jealous when your parents do something fun with only one of you.
I get that Mom and Dad haven’t seen you in two months, but do they have to look like they’re having the time of their lives?
15. You don’t realize how much you actually enjoy each other’s company until you’ve been apart for months.
But a day after reuniting, you’ll be bickering like old times.