A friend of mine recently witnessed a horrific break-up in, of all places, the Curry Student Center. We got to thinking about some other awful places to publicly end a relationship on Northeastern’s campus, and here’s what we came up with…
3rd Floor Snell: So you planned on having a quiet, romantic study date. Everything is going as planned in the cubbie until you get a message you weren’t expecting. You want to cry, scream, run away…. But you can’t. That mean group of over-caffeinated studiers in the corner would be angry if you made a peep.
The Shillman Cat Bench: Being dumped is an awful and humiliating feeling to begin with…the only thing that could make it worse is being awkwardly left on a bench alone next to a bronze cat statue staring at you.
The Treadmills of Marino: When you have a breakup your priority should be about moving forward, not staying in the same spot. You will quite literally stay in the same place if you get the bad news on the treadmills of Marino. Not only are you out on you own, it’s also ruined your workout!
The Dunkin’ Line: We all love our significant others …. and our coffee. Being dumped in the world’s longest line here at Northeastern would be the most awkward of tragedies. Lets all hope if this ever happens its at least after you get your coffee and not at the start of the line!
Outtakes: You know that awkward moment every week when you don’t use all your meals and you use a swipe to get a Smart Water that essentially costs $5? It is obvious that being broken up with at Outtakes is the lowest of the low. I mean first they are out of chips and then you get a delivery of some stressful news. It’s a bad week all around.
QuickPrint: Printing at QuickPrint is a stressful event on the best of days. Long lines, low toners, and jobs you swear you sent to yourself suddenly disappear. What could be worse than your significant other breaking up with you there? Well, they could send an unexpected print job to your name that delivers the news on screen next to your rapidly dwindling prints. Print title: “I’m breaking up w/ U.” Ouch. Account balance: $2.60. Double ouch.
Boloco: I don’t know about all of you, but Boloco is my happy place. Few things make me happier than earning a “freebie” burrito on my Boloco card. No matter what kind of day I am having, I can always count on a Bangkok Thai in a bowl to brighten my mood. That being said, if I’ve been dumped, I will most likely run haphazardly across the T tracks to drown my sorrows in a Jimmy Carter milkshake. Boys, you’re already breaking our hearts. Please don’t do it in the one place on campus we find sustenance and solace.