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The Girl’s Guide to Fenway

Her Campus Placeholder Avatar Lauryn Paiva
Her Campus Placeholder Avatar Rachel Kossman
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Northeastern chapter.
There are girls out there who can rattle off the batting averages and RBIs of every player on the Red Sox roster. They are a rare breed, and they can throw down with every fast-talking, Fenway-Frank eating, born-and-bred Boston boy sitting in the grandstands when it comes to a battle of baseball erudition.


I am not one of these girls. As my father has always lovingly said, I couldn’t tell you the difference between a baseball and a medicine ball. I do, however, know how to have a good time at Fenway despite my limited baseball knowledge. After many hours of intense observation, I’ve compiled a list of do’s and don’ts (just in time for Opening Day!) that will prevent all of you baseball novices from making any serious Fenway faux pas on your next trip to the Green Monster.


 

  1. Do not wear pink. There is a time and place for floral hues, ladies. Fenway Park is not that place. Please do not bedazzle yourself with baby doll pink baseball hats that sport the Boston “B” or don a rhinestone-studded Sox t-shirt worthy of a guest appearance on the Jersey Shore. Keep it simple and rock a red or navy Red Sox tee while participating in Boston’s most beloved spectator sport. Remember: its Fenway, not Fashion Week.

  2. Forget your diet for the day. Don’t be that girl who is counting calories while everyone around you is partaking in all of the sinfully delicious concessions Fenway has to offer. Order a mile high plate of nachos and a beer and go to town. Also, you can never go wrong with an Italian sausage or hot dog purchase from one of the many friendly vendors outside of Fenway.
     
  3. DON’T be fashionably late. Unless you’re pre-gaming at one of the many acclaimed bars on Landsdowne Street, a Sox game is one event that doesn’t require your belated arrival.
     
  4. Learn the terminology. For the sake of the sanity of everyone around you, don’t ask what quarter, half, or period it is. Being clueless isn’t cute. Get the baseball jargon down before someone hits a line drive at your face…on purpose.
     
  5. Download “Sweet Caroline”. Don’t be the lone mute during the seventh inning stretch. A little Neil Diamond on your iPod is good for the soul. Learn the words and be ready to belt it out with the rest of Red Sox Nation.
     
  6. Familiarize yourself with the art of the insult. Boston is the 6th rudest city in America, thanks in no small part to our sports fans. A well-placed slur directed at the players of the opposing team will impress everyone around you and help Boston maintain its boorish attitude toward everyone visiting from outside of the 617 area code. “Yankees Suck!” is always appropriate, no matter what team the Sox are playing.
     
  7. Leave your R’s at the entrance gate. If you want to be a true Bostonian, drop your R’s when necessary. Example: I’m at Fenway Pahk. Dropping this consonant isn’t just a means to blend in with crowd. For those of you coming from different planets (i.e. Long Island), it can be a survival tool. Trust me when I say you don’t want to be easily distinguishable as a New Yorker in a sea of rambunctious and bitter Boston fans.
     
There you have it, seven of the most important know-how’s to navigating America’s most beloved ballpark. Now go out there and play ball!
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Lauryn is a senior at Northeastern University majoring in journalism. She has written for Boston.com as well as the HC branch at Northeastern. Lauryn is also a teaching assistant for International Affairs students at Northeastern. In May and June of 2011, she embarked on a reporting trip to the Middle East, where she mastered the art of "man on the street" reporting and gained a new appreciation for falafel. In her spare time, Lauryn enjoys writing, walking around Boston aimlessly, traveling and a unhealthy obsession with her Kindle. She loves eating, French bulldogs and Anderson Cooper. After graduation, she hopes to pursue a career in foreign correspondence or magazine journalism. You can follow her on Twitter @laurynpaiva.
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Rachel Kossman

Northeastern

Rachel Kossman is a Northeastern University graduate, and former Her Campus Campus Correspondent. She spent her junior and senior years writing for Her Campus National, and is thrilled to be back contributing to the Post Graduate section.Rachel is currently working as Associate Editor for DAYSPA magazine, an industry publication for spa owners, where she gets to write about spa products, business tips, spa industry news, focus on green lifestyle content, and even review a spa or two every once in a while! She is currently living back in Los Angeles, where she was born and raised, and though she misses Boston and all her friends out east, is very happy to be away from the cold and snow!