I’ve never been good at flirting. When I like someone, I’m too nervous to speak and will often try to hide my feelings. However, from life experience, I can tell you that no guy is like “wow this girl is never looking at me and seems like she is mute, she totally likes me!”
So awkward, single me thought since I don’t know how to flirt I might as well go on a little adventure and find what advice is out there on the big, wide web.
Before I tell you what I discovered, I’ll step back to define what flirting is:
According to Merriam Webster, the verb to flirt is defined as “to behave in a way that shows a sexual attraction for someone but is not meant to be taken seriously.”
But if you dissect this definition, it really doesn’t help you in anyway. “Behave” is such a broad word. How does one behave in such a way that shows sexual attraction that shouldn’t be taken seriously. Merriam Webster just didn’t want to divulge the secrets apparently, so that is what I set out to do.
My first step in this process was to type in “how to flirt” on google. I’m really creative, I know. The first link that popped up was a wikiHow, which lists out the steps of flirting in two different methods: flirting in-person and flirting by text.
For my article I am going to focus more on flirting in-person. If you are interested in flirting by text, by all means research and enlighten yourself.
But for now let’s get to it and see what wikiHow advises for in-person flirting:
1. Make eye contact: “Get caught looking. Don’t stare, but do throw small glances.”
In other words, be a little more like a character from a Nicholas Sparks movie and less like Nicholas Cage.
2. Smile: “Try letting a slow smile spread over your face instead of breaking into an insta-grin”
This may sound easy, but don’t get carried away and “go all grinch” on your crush.
Follow Anna Kendrick’s lead instead; keep it light.
3. Start talking/initiate a conversation: “Find common ground…strike up a conversation based on shared experiences or interest.”
If you are blanking pull a She’s the Man and talk about cheese.
4. Use body language: “Keep your stance ‘open.’ Don’t cross your arms or legs, as these are generally signs that you wish to isolate yourself from the other person.”
Less…
More…
5. Compliment the person: “Compliment the other person early in the conversation….Get confident, and don’t let the opportunity slip by.”
Keep it simple and sweet and I am sure you will make your crush’s day.
But be careful, it is possible to take it a little too far…
Sidenote: The wikiHow article has much more detailed information and lists out 10 tips. So if you are like me and suck at flirting, reading the article may be of some help. However, at the same time I found some of the tips laughable (and a little too forward) and things I would never even think of attempting. But it’s a fun read regardless:
From digging around the internet I found a few other articles that give some helpful, general tips. Here’s a list of some other interesting reads if you are even more intrigued on the subject:
1. How to Flirt According to Science http://theweek.com/articles/448643/how-flirt-according-science
2. How to Flirt Without it Seeming Like you’re flirting https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/valley-girl-brain/201203/how-flirt-without-it-seeming-youre-flirting
3. Here’s Why You Suck At Knowing When Someone Is Flirting With You
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/17/bad-detecting-flirting_n_5500025.html
Overall flirting is really up to interpretation. My advice to myself and everyone else out there is to be more bold and just wing it because after all we are all “awkward and desperate for love.”
Who knows, if you flirt well maybe you’ll get a cute response like this and a budding, new relationship.