Do you really want that adorable, funny guy from your floor to like you? Nope. Having a guy like you honestly just makes your life more complicated than it has to be. Regardless of whether you like him or not, things just get messy when it comes to crushes.
If you already like your awkward self and you want to get a guy to like you, you will have fewer problems doing so than girls who do not like themselves. Why? Because you’re going to vouch for yourself. You’re going to appear more confident and quirky. However, like I said, getting a guy to like you is certainly going to make your life more complicated. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but if you already have a lot on your plate, keep that in mind.
But you clicked on this article for a purpose–to find out how to get a guy to like you. It’s reasonable to want someone to care about you in a way that’s different from all of your family members and friends. But you’re going to do that by letting go of how you want someone else to feel about you and, instead, controlling how you want to feel about yourself. I know, I know. This sounds monumentally cheesy. But controlling how a dude feels about you isn’t going to make you feel better (unless you have narcissistic or psychopathic traits). So, basically, I’m writing this article to encourage you to pursue yourself, not someone else, in the guise of flirting tips. They don’t usually work, anyway.
1. Show your quirks
You don’t have to be extremely confident or flirty to be attractive. However, you will become attractive to the right guy if you free yourself from the confines of your self-consciousness. It’s healthy to have a little bit of self-consciousness–I mean, you don’t want to walk around barefoot, rugged, and stinky. (Actually, that’ll probably make people stare at you even more than if you weren’t any of those, which would worsen your self-consciousness.) Join clubs that reflect your interests. If there aren’t any, make a club! If you like drawing dinosaur anime or solving drop quotes, tell people that’s what you do if they ask. Someone’s bound to have similar interests as you, and if not, people will probably remember you for being different and admire your uniqueness.
2. Ask questions
If you want a guy to develop interest in you, you definitely need to ask him about his life, like his sports, hobbies, favorite shows, favorite food, etc. But…doesn’t that apply to anyone you’re talking to? I’m bringing this up because talking to others will make you a more interesting person. As an introvert, I have come to actually somewhat enjoy small talk because I like accumulating knowledge, and I recognize that an interesting way to do so is by asking people about different topics in which they seem to express interest. That way I can constantly accumulate information and learn about people’s perspectives while practicing how to do small talk, so I’m improving myself and giving people opportunities to develop an interest in me.
3. Don’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with
If you yield to a guy’s desires while compromising your own, he’ll either assume that you want to do what he wants or he’ll stop respecting you. While engaging in sexual activities, people assume everyone’s pleased or excited to engage in those activities. Many people don’t consider the others’ thoughts–they’re just thinking about how good they feel in the moment. Therefore, you need to stand up for yourself and make your desires CRYSTAL clear in order for people to respect you and see that you’re not a doll that they can play with and leave. Making your desires clear signals confidence and self-respect, which will definitely impact how people see you in a positive way.
4. Focus on yourself
Trust me, I know from experience that when you stop thinking about how to get a guy to like you and you start thinking about how to get yourself to like you, you will be prepared for more unexpected events in the future. If you like yourself, you will definitely feel you possess control over your life, and then it spirals up from there. The guy will show up somewhere in that spiral, but by the time you’re in that upward spiral, you won’t really need anyone to have feelings for you, nor will you care. You’ll be too busy doing research about the neuroendocrinological responses in animals or something like that. You’ll be reading, studying, writing, and researching so by the time the right guy comes to like you, you’ll merely be pleasantly surprised.
5. See everyone as equals
This sounds like a weird one, I know. What I’m trying to say is if you see a cute guy, don’t treat him any differently than you would an average-looking guy. You’re probably raising your eyebrows wryly at me, but when you think about it, we get a lot more nervous and shy around the cuter guys because they’re, well, cute. However, we should see everyone as people with desires, dreams, issues, and fears. People can tell from your demeanor when you perceive them as superior (which would either give them power over you) or inferior (which would make them feel worse about themselves). If you begin to consider everyone equally, you’ll feel better about yourself and attract people.
So, basically, don’t focus on getting a guy to like you. Focus on getting yourself to like you! Honestly, just do anything that improves yourself, and later, the world. Embrace who you are. Good luck.